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Jumper is crabby and I found out why. What to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 544633" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>Let me preface this with this, I have rules in my house and it applies to ALL including my 20 yo! My rules are that it's my house and I WILL go through your things if I think there is something that is causing trouble or you are in danger and that includes your room or personal things and with the oldest, her cell phone because I pay for it. Generally with her I've never had too as she is very open with me on everything. </p><p></p><p>HOWEVER, just recently she has not been and things have not been well. She accidently left her cell phone home when she went one late evening. Something she never leaves home with out. I happen to pick it up because it was displaying something rather disturbing and I knew that (thank God) if I didn't take it the younger ones would have gotten a hold of it and it was in no way something they should have seen. From that I decided I really needed to see what else she was "hiding" from me. I ended up finding out a lot of information. Some things I could have guessed others I would not have but none the less it did upset me but certainly now made sense of why she was acting the way she was. In the end, it alerted me to what actions I needed to be taking to protect her and ourselves from possible MUCH bigger problems in the future.</p><p></p><p>Where am I going with this, I will not say you were wrong (as you can see from what I said above). What I will say is maybe you can borrow a page from how I handled my situation in that I told difficult child that one of her "friends" was concerned for her as she was doing things that were not good for herself and cared enough to tell me. Yes, a lie but if I had totally confronted her at this point in time it would have caused a very horrible scene and NON compliance with her getting help, which she did end up doing. I also let her therapist and doctor in on what was going on since she has allowed me to discuss things with them (all I have to do is call them). I honestly did not like hiding from her what I did this time as I've always been upfront with her in the past but this time the issues were a bit more serious and I knew that the plan of action called for an intervention that would actually work, and it did!</p><p></p><p>Don't know if it would help you any or not. Oh and yes, difficult child did post to her facebook and such ranting that "whoever did this was ......" but of course there was no one. The point was her getting help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 544633, member: 455"] Let me preface this with this, I have rules in my house and it applies to ALL including my 20 yo! My rules are that it's my house and I WILL go through your things if I think there is something that is causing trouble or you are in danger and that includes your room or personal things and with the oldest, her cell phone because I pay for it. Generally with her I've never had too as she is very open with me on everything. HOWEVER, just recently she has not been and things have not been well. She accidently left her cell phone home when she went one late evening. Something she never leaves home with out. I happen to pick it up because it was displaying something rather disturbing and I knew that (thank God) if I didn't take it the younger ones would have gotten a hold of it and it was in no way something they should have seen. From that I decided I really needed to see what else she was "hiding" from me. I ended up finding out a lot of information. Some things I could have guessed others I would not have but none the less it did upset me but certainly now made sense of why she was acting the way she was. In the end, it alerted me to what actions I needed to be taking to protect her and ourselves from possible MUCH bigger problems in the future. Where am I going with this, I will not say you were wrong (as you can see from what I said above). What I will say is maybe you can borrow a page from how I handled my situation in that I told difficult child that one of her "friends" was concerned for her as she was doing things that were not good for herself and cared enough to tell me. Yes, a lie but if I had totally confronted her at this point in time it would have caused a very horrible scene and NON compliance with her getting help, which she did end up doing. I also let her therapist and doctor in on what was going on since she has allowed me to discuss things with them (all I have to do is call them). I honestly did not like hiding from her what I did this time as I've always been upfront with her in the past but this time the issues were a bit more serious and I knew that the plan of action called for an intervention that would actually work, and it did! Don't know if it would help you any or not. Oh and yes, difficult child did post to her facebook and such ranting that "whoever did this was ......" but of course there was no one. The point was her getting help. [/QUOTE]
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Jumper is crabby and I found out why. What to do?
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