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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 691839" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>So, I am really learning something here. </p><p></p><p>The only difference between a prison and a family is that it is bigger (and they can kick you out--if you work there--which is really not that big a deal unless you take it personally, as I am.) Except families can kick you out, too, or threaten it. There was a time when that mattered, the fear of being kicked out of my family. Now. Not so much.</p><p></p><p>Is it habitual, taking the blame for other people? I guess it is. I guess it is like something happens--and then the knee jerk response is, "what did I do wrong?" It is not just catching the shame ball it is a whole new level in my case. It is as if I take responsibility for somebody even having thrown it (at me). </p><p></p><p>I think there is the issue, too, of pay back. I think that I let the incident ruminate in me because I nurse the anger. It is like, there always has to be somebody left holding the bag. And it seems to be me. The idea that I can just let it go, means there does not need to be any feelings at all either way. No need to cast blame, no need to respond, in order to establish the real bad guy.</p><p></p><p>It is like just not catching the ball. Letting it stay in the air until some unlucky unfortunate volunteers to take it personally and catch it. </p><p></p><p>I operate in life sometimes like every single thing is my fault and my responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Thank you ladies. Now I have a context in which to view what happens to me. The course to take now is to use it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 691839, member: 18958"] So, I am really learning something here. The only difference between a prison and a family is that it is bigger (and they can kick you out--if you work there--which is really not that big a deal unless you take it personally, as I am.) Except families can kick you out, too, or threaten it. There was a time when that mattered, the fear of being kicked out of my family. Now. Not so much. Is it habitual, taking the blame for other people? I guess it is. I guess it is like something happens--and then the knee jerk response is, "what did I do wrong?" It is not just catching the shame ball it is a whole new level in my case. It is as if I take responsibility for somebody even having thrown it (at me). I think there is the issue, too, of pay back. I think that I let the incident ruminate in me because I nurse the anger. It is like, there always has to be somebody left holding the bag. And it seems to be me. The idea that I can just let it go, means there does not need to be any feelings at all either way. No need to cast blame, no need to respond, in order to establish the real bad guy. It is like just not catching the ball. Letting it stay in the air until some unlucky unfortunate volunteers to take it personally and catch it. I operate in life sometimes like every single thing is my fault and my responsibility. Thank you ladies. Now I have a context in which to view what happens to me. The course to take now is to use it. [/QUOTE]
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