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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 600700" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Yikes. What a story. Is it possible to talk to the ex who rescued her to verify any of these details? What is truly remarkable is that your daughter, much like mine, has zero responsibility in any of this, she is a <em>'victim' </em>of the circumstances she herself has orchestrated through her own choices. I am so sorry Barbara, this stuff is so incredibly hard to hear. And, then we have to figure out what is actually real and filter that all through our own system to be able to deal with it. Between the alcohol and the mental illness, there is likely little truth in any of it. </p><p></p><p>The awful truth is that you and your husband have to listen to it and have your hearts wounded by the knowledge, whether it's true or not. I'm sorry that you have to be traumatized while you "find your balance." If our daughter's only knew the suffering caused by their actions, if they were capable of that kind of lucid thought, I imagine that knowledge would catapult them out of this insanity..............but, they don't know........they don't see the bodies left in their wake...........</p><p></p><p>I understand how it "dilutes" the trauma to write about it, one of the many benefits of this forum. And, amazingly, I do think we are less impacted by these dramatic events in our difficult child's lives as time goes by.........you sound more...........resigned.........accepting..........detached.............and I know the price paid to get there too.</p><p></p><p>It's good to hear that your grandkids are doing well.</p><p></p><p>I just finished reading that book I told you about, The Untethered Soul, it helped me to recognize how all of my suffering did nothing but steal my own life from me...............and how I can choose to be happy in any given moment, in spite of any circumstances. These issues with our children may be the ultimate test for that thinking and yet, as you are recognizing as well, life marches forward with or without our joy intact..............our daughter's lives continue to be dramatic and dangerous as they hang over the cliff determined to catapult into the darkness.............so do we stand there watching them and being horrified at the choices they make, or do we step back, notice a different direction and march down that path? Little by little I am choosing that other path....................looks as if you are walking in that direction too.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 600700, member: 13542"] Yikes. What a story. Is it possible to talk to the ex who rescued her to verify any of these details? What is truly remarkable is that your daughter, much like mine, has zero responsibility in any of this, she is a [I]'victim' [/I]of the circumstances she herself has orchestrated through her own choices. I am so sorry Barbara, this stuff is so incredibly hard to hear. And, then we have to figure out what is actually real and filter that all through our own system to be able to deal with it. Between the alcohol and the mental illness, there is likely little truth in any of it. The awful truth is that you and your husband have to listen to it and have your hearts wounded by the knowledge, whether it's true or not. I'm sorry that you have to be traumatized while you "find your balance." If our daughter's only knew the suffering caused by their actions, if they were capable of that kind of lucid thought, I imagine that knowledge would catapult them out of this insanity..............but, they don't know........they don't see the bodies left in their wake........... I understand how it "dilutes" the trauma to write about it, one of the many benefits of this forum. And, amazingly, I do think we are less impacted by these dramatic events in our difficult child's lives as time goes by.........you sound more...........resigned.........accepting..........detached.............and I know the price paid to get there too. It's good to hear that your grandkids are doing well. I just finished reading that book I told you about, The Untethered Soul, it helped me to recognize how all of my suffering did nothing but steal my own life from me...............and how I can choose to be happy in any given moment, in spite of any circumstances. These issues with our children may be the ultimate test for that thinking and yet, as you are recognizing as well, life marches forward with or without our joy intact..............our daughter's lives continue to be dramatic and dangerous as they hang over the cliff determined to catapult into the darkness.............so do we stand there watching them and being horrified at the choices they make, or do we step back, notice a different direction and march down that path? Little by little I am choosing that other path....................looks as if you are walking in that direction too............. [/QUOTE]
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