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Substance Abuse
just asked difficult child to leave.....I'm an emotional mess
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 550875"><p>Dixie,</p><p></p><p>Hugs... and no it shouldnt be this hard. It is heartbreaking to be in your position and believe me I have been there. We had to kick my son out of the house when he was 18 and it absolutely broke my heart BUT it was much much better for my daughter (3 years younger than him) and it was amazing to live in a peaceful house again. I actually began to feel like my house was my safe place and I started to enjoy being home again. It sounds like it is time for him to go....</p><p></p><p>so spend a little time thinking about what you do if he refuses to go. Find out your options. My son flat out refused to go and threatened me in the process. I went upstairs, cried my eyes out and then drove to the police station and talked to the cops. They suggested a restraining order which I did not want to do, instead they agreed to come unannounced at a certain time and serve him with a no tresspass order. That way he was home when they got here. He got nasty to me as he left but the police got stern with him and so kept the peace. The whole thing broke my heart in a million pieces.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could tell you things were fine now but they are not... however it is clear to me it was the right thing to do. He has had many many chances since then to turn things around and he has not done it. I have stayed in touch with him (when I can) and I think he knows we love him. I think he also knows why he cant live here and I dont think blames us anymore....my interactions with him are better than they were and if he ever gets his life together I think we can have a good relationship.... but whether he gets his life together is a whole other question but I am now convinced it is up to him.</p><p></p><p>And my easy child daugther is now a senior in hs and doing great.... and I think if he had stayed in the house she would have had some serious issues. So yes you need to protect and do right by your other kids. They need you too.</p><p></p><p>Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and many of us here have been through this.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 550875"] Dixie, Hugs... and no it shouldnt be this hard. It is heartbreaking to be in your position and believe me I have been there. We had to kick my son out of the house when he was 18 and it absolutely broke my heart BUT it was much much better for my daughter (3 years younger than him) and it was amazing to live in a peaceful house again. I actually began to feel like my house was my safe place and I started to enjoy being home again. It sounds like it is time for him to go.... so spend a little time thinking about what you do if he refuses to go. Find out your options. My son flat out refused to go and threatened me in the process. I went upstairs, cried my eyes out and then drove to the police station and talked to the cops. They suggested a restraining order which I did not want to do, instead they agreed to come unannounced at a certain time and serve him with a no tresspass order. That way he was home when they got here. He got nasty to me as he left but the police got stern with him and so kept the peace. The whole thing broke my heart in a million pieces. I wish I could tell you things were fine now but they are not... however it is clear to me it was the right thing to do. He has had many many chances since then to turn things around and he has not done it. I have stayed in touch with him (when I can) and I think he knows we love him. I think he also knows why he cant live here and I dont think blames us anymore....my interactions with him are better than they were and if he ever gets his life together I think we can have a good relationship.... but whether he gets his life together is a whole other question but I am now convinced it is up to him. And my easy child daugther is now a senior in hs and doing great.... and I think if he had stayed in the house she would have had some serious issues. So yes you need to protect and do right by your other kids. They need you too. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and many of us here have been through this. TL [/QUOTE]
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just asked difficult child to leave.....I'm an emotional mess
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