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Substance Abuse
Just because SA is my family...my roots
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 563210"><p>D- forgive me for taking so long to respond to this post. It is a response that I need to type on a laptop (not an iphone) and those words above really spoke to me. Because I feel your pain. I feel the struggle of wanting so much MORE for them. It's not superficial. You feel like he is settling; like he is turning his back on the way you raised him, on the values you hold dear. And you see right through her and it pains you that he doesn't. been there done that. And we ALL know that if someone points out the obvious red flags, it will be the MESSENGER who gets shot. And yet, there is that feeling of needing to do it anyway, that maternal obligation to be the bad guy, take one for the team because it is so important. And the reality is that pointing out her faults won't jeopardize his relationship with her (it will probably make it stronger)rather it will jeopardize your relationship with HIM. Keep the Cutty close at hand...and the smile on your face. </p><p></p><p>As for the house, look into putting it in a land trust. It's not too expensive, it can be factored into the paperwork/mortgage. I want to say it's a few hundred dollars to establish it, and maybe a $100 yearly fee. It will keep it out of her hands and it will add quite a few steps to the home equity loan process. It will also protect the asset from being fodder in a lawsuit...Just in case.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 563210"] D- forgive me for taking so long to respond to this post. It is a response that I need to type on a laptop (not an iphone) and those words above really spoke to me. Because I feel your pain. I feel the struggle of wanting so much MORE for them. It's not superficial. You feel like he is settling; like he is turning his back on the way you raised him, on the values you hold dear. And you see right through her and it pains you that he doesn't. been there done that. And we ALL know that if someone points out the obvious red flags, it will be the MESSENGER who gets shot. And yet, there is that feeling of needing to do it anyway, that maternal obligation to be the bad guy, take one for the team because it is so important. And the reality is that pointing out her faults won't jeopardize his relationship with her (it will probably make it stronger)rather it will jeopardize your relationship with HIM. Keep the Cutty close at hand...and the smile on your face. As for the house, look into putting it in a land trust. It's not too expensive, it can be factored into the paperwork/mortgage. I want to say it's a few hundred dollars to establish it, and maybe a $100 yearly fee. It will keep it out of her hands and it will add quite a few steps to the home equity loan process. It will also protect the asset from being fodder in a lawsuit...Just in case. [/QUOTE]
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Just because SA is my family...my roots
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