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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 282553" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks for the support! My comment about accusatory posts was not directed toward the general population of this board, and especially not to those who have stood by me for 2 years as I have gone thru so much with difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Susie- I understand what you are saying- I told the GAL once during court that I don't think it's me in denial. But as you know, sometimes tdocs, legal people, etc, can be so sure that the parent is biased that it is really them that can't see anything objectively. </p><p></p><p>As far as difficult child, he's doing great in so many ways, yet I do have fears still. I met with the head psychiatric there last week, who is actually above his therapist (but his therapist must be a masters level psychiatric). Anyway, that seemed to go very well and she seemed on board with everything I relayed to her through words and documentation about difficult child's previous evaluations and recommendations. she said she would try to arrange for me and the psychiatrist to talk on the phone. That shocked me because I kept hearing that since psychiatrist is contracted out to go from one facility to another, no one except the kid ever talks to him/her. Then difficult child told me that his therapist told him that she agreed, we really need family therapy.</p><p></p><p>I am not so comfortable with the school situation (IEP team) yet. They seem to have the attitude that they will tell me what they will and will not do. That doesn't sit well when they are not run by Department of Juvenile Justice so it's suppposed to be like a regular team that requires the parent's permission. It didn't help any that the sd difficult child came from sent misleading info. You know that re-evaluation I was making a fuss about a couple of months ago? They actually sent a note to the Department of Juvenile Justice school saying they didn't do it because "Parent refused to sign consent". BS. Imagine their surprise when I pulled out my signed copy- dated in Jan.!</p><p></p><p>As far as this other kid's influence on difficult child, it's probably too soon to tell. I wish I was hearing that the kid misses his grandmother and and that he's trying to tell difficult child that it was a horrible thing to do and that difficult child was saying he's glad he didn't go that far because he wouldn't have me around anymore. In spite of the fact that this kid is apparently doing very well, my gut tells me that he's sorry he got caught but is glad that he can now write his girlfriend and he doesn't really get the loss that he has caused.</p><p></p><p>difficult child tells me I don't have to worry about anything like that happening with him. Well, the knife was at my neck while I was sitting in a defenseless position and there are stab marks/cuts in the top of the chair where my head is when I'm sitting in it. He stopped that time, but what if he didn't next time? I know difficult child has had to convince himself that he can make it in there and make it in this world without me in order to survive, but what if he takes that to a point where he wouldn't feel any loss if I was dead? Hopefully, we can get passed this stage- his maturity and my fears- before his release. At least if there is family therapy and this stuff is brought out to a therapist, it should help with the parole officer if I refuse to let difficult child come home right away. I won't abandon him, as I''ve always said, but in my mind, I'm protecting him as much as me if I think there is any chance that he'll flip out on me again. I don't want him to ever be sitting in that boy''s shoes.</p><p></p><p>The geekiness- I hadn't thought about them having that in common but it could be right. Most the boys in there look the stereotypical way. My son wears glasses and lies to act like he's done more than he has- like have sex and done street drugs. The other boy is the only blonde haired boy in there. Since the high schoolers had their dress JROTC uniforms on (which looked very impressive) and the boy had so many medals, I thought he was a JROTC staff person, not an inmate. It's sad because now they are getting so many younger ones in Department of Juvenile Justice since the state psychiatric hospital's are closing and parents are finding it harder and harder to get kids in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s- Department of Juvenile Justice is the only place to send them. And as I was told- it puts the costs on the state instead of the local jurisdiction. Personally, I think that is a disgrace on our society and no better than institutionalizing our kids the way they did 100 years ago. But, I will say that this particular facility seems to have a lot more going for it than some of the others I have heard about. </p><p></p><p>Steely- there's no way you offended me but if that ever happened, I would PM you and and tell you that you hurt my feelings or asked you to clarify or something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 282553, member: 3699"] Thanks for the support! My comment about accusatory posts was not directed toward the general population of this board, and especially not to those who have stood by me for 2 years as I have gone thru so much with difficult child. Susie- I understand what you are saying- I told the GAL once during court that I don't think it's me in denial. But as you know, sometimes tdocs, legal people, etc, can be so sure that the parent is biased that it is really them that can't see anything objectively. As far as difficult child, he's doing great in so many ways, yet I do have fears still. I met with the head psychiatric there last week, who is actually above his therapist (but his therapist must be a masters level psychiatric). Anyway, that seemed to go very well and she seemed on board with everything I relayed to her through words and documentation about difficult child's previous evaluations and recommendations. she said she would try to arrange for me and the psychiatrist to talk on the phone. That shocked me because I kept hearing that since psychiatrist is contracted out to go from one facility to another, no one except the kid ever talks to him/her. Then difficult child told me that his therapist told him that she agreed, we really need family therapy. I am not so comfortable with the school situation (IEP team) yet. They seem to have the attitude that they will tell me what they will and will not do. That doesn't sit well when they are not run by Department of Juvenile Justice so it's suppposed to be like a regular team that requires the parent's permission. It didn't help any that the sd difficult child came from sent misleading info. You know that re-evaluation I was making a fuss about a couple of months ago? They actually sent a note to the Department of Juvenile Justice school saying they didn't do it because "Parent refused to sign consent". BS. Imagine their surprise when I pulled out my signed copy- dated in Jan.! As far as this other kid's influence on difficult child, it's probably too soon to tell. I wish I was hearing that the kid misses his grandmother and and that he's trying to tell difficult child that it was a horrible thing to do and that difficult child was saying he's glad he didn't go that far because he wouldn't have me around anymore. In spite of the fact that this kid is apparently doing very well, my gut tells me that he's sorry he got caught but is glad that he can now write his girlfriend and he doesn't really get the loss that he has caused. difficult child tells me I don't have to worry about anything like that happening with him. Well, the knife was at my neck while I was sitting in a defenseless position and there are stab marks/cuts in the top of the chair where my head is when I'm sitting in it. He stopped that time, but what if he didn't next time? I know difficult child has had to convince himself that he can make it in there and make it in this world without me in order to survive, but what if he takes that to a point where he wouldn't feel any loss if I was dead? Hopefully, we can get passed this stage- his maturity and my fears- before his release. At least if there is family therapy and this stuff is brought out to a therapist, it should help with the parole officer if I refuse to let difficult child come home right away. I won't abandon him, as I''ve always said, but in my mind, I'm protecting him as much as me if I think there is any chance that he'll flip out on me again. I don't want him to ever be sitting in that boy''s shoes. The geekiness- I hadn't thought about them having that in common but it could be right. Most the boys in there look the stereotypical way. My son wears glasses and lies to act like he's done more than he has- like have sex and done street drugs. The other boy is the only blonde haired boy in there. Since the high schoolers had their dress JROTC uniforms on (which looked very impressive) and the boy had so many medals, I thought he was a JROTC staff person, not an inmate. It's sad because now they are getting so many younger ones in Department of Juvenile Justice since the state psychiatric hospital's are closing and parents are finding it harder and harder to get kids in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s- Department of Juvenile Justice is the only place to send them. And as I was told- it puts the costs on the state instead of the local jurisdiction. Personally, I think that is a disgrace on our society and no better than institutionalizing our kids the way they did 100 years ago. But, I will say that this particular facility seems to have a lot more going for it than some of the others I have heard about. Steely- there's no way you offended me but if that ever happened, I would PM you and and tell you that you hurt my feelings or asked you to clarify or something. [/QUOTE]
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