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Just Feeling A Bit Sad...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 42645" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I understand how you feel about Mothers Day. I used to hate the Mothers Day stall at the school - it was done the week before. We were asked to send in a gift already wrapped in cellophane, valued at about $5. We then had to send our kid to school with $5 to buy a gift for Mothers Day. Not all mothers could afford to get a gift or had time to wrap them, so a band of mothers would buy extra and then work hard to wrap the unwrapped.</p><p>The kids were then brought class by class to the school hall (where these 'gifts' were set out) and made to buy a gift. If they had forgotten to bring the money, or even if I said I didn't want difficult child 3 to participate because we had a policy of no material gift on Mothers Day, it didn't matter. I'd get a note saying I owed Mrs So-and-so $5, because Mrs So-and-so would generally turn out to be a kindhearted soul who didn't want any kid to miss out, and who HADN'T been told by the school that I had asked to be left out of the loop. (Imagine sending a vulnerable difficult child to school with money - it would be lucky to make it past the canteen, or the bully).</p><p></p><p>This was a fundraiser for the P&C (Parents & Citizens, who pay for lots of stuff the school can't/won't pay for). There are many other fundraising ideas which I DID support, I just hated this one because it was always THE MOTHER buying the gift, donating the gift and then BUYING IT BACK. I preferred to give a $10 donation, but they HAD to add the extra humiliation.</p><p></p><p>And the "gift worth $5"? difficult child 3 had absolutely NO IDEA. I think the most outrageous one was a plastic bag of old, outdated lipstick samples (full-size) in a few really horrible colours, about four tubes of each. No way can I wear them, no way can I throw them out. Other examples are usually equally horrid - a 50c bath bomb (I'd already tried that brand, it stained the bath and had no fragrance); a packet of face washers still with the $2.50 price tag on them; face cream samples, mostly already opened - you get the idea. I suspect they saved the worst ones for the kids who simply didn't know any better, which in my mind is adding exploitation on top of everything else.</p><p></p><p>My favourite gift was a colourful scribbled card which had "I love Mummy" written on it. He'd made it with his aide, he was pleased with himself when he handed it to me.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 wanted to buy me something for Mothers Day, I said I didn't want a bought gift but what I WOULD like for Mothers Day would be for him to make me a cup of coffee. Since he usually gets coffee too, from the same batch of beans, this will be a treat for us both.</p><p></p><p>All I've ever wanted from the other kids is to be simply remembered. So often, I'm not. difficult child 1 has been thinking about it, though, because he said that his church is having a special Mothers Day service on Sunday and he really wants me to come along. easy child will always ring me up to wish me Happy Mothers Day. And this year we have BF2, who really should be planning to visit his own mother on Mothers Day, he hasn't seen her for six weeks. I need to talk to easy child 2/difficult child 2 about that this evening, so we can plan. I suspect on Mothers Day I'll be driving them out to visit, so they can also collect BF2's car (now repaired after easy child 2/difficult child 2's crash).</p><p></p><p>So here's my advice - keep your expectations low, keep your sense of humour at the ready. And plan a Sunday afternoon getaway with another forgotten mother so you can watch a chick flick on DVD and drink sherry all afternoon, wallowing in misery. If you have a great day, cancel the sherry. Or not.</p><p></p><p>I know my kids appreciate me, because they do sometimes tell me. I just have to remember to not expect it any more on this day, than any other day.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 42645, member: 1991"] I understand how you feel about Mothers Day. I used to hate the Mothers Day stall at the school - it was done the week before. We were asked to send in a gift already wrapped in cellophane, valued at about $5. We then had to send our kid to school with $5 to buy a gift for Mothers Day. Not all mothers could afford to get a gift or had time to wrap them, so a band of mothers would buy extra and then work hard to wrap the unwrapped. The kids were then brought class by class to the school hall (where these 'gifts' were set out) and made to buy a gift. If they had forgotten to bring the money, or even if I said I didn't want difficult child 3 to participate because we had a policy of no material gift on Mothers Day, it didn't matter. I'd get a note saying I owed Mrs So-and-so $5, because Mrs So-and-so would generally turn out to be a kindhearted soul who didn't want any kid to miss out, and who HADN'T been told by the school that I had asked to be left out of the loop. (Imagine sending a vulnerable difficult child to school with money - it would be lucky to make it past the canteen, or the bully). This was a fundraiser for the P&C (Parents & Citizens, who pay for lots of stuff the school can't/won't pay for). There are many other fundraising ideas which I DID support, I just hated this one because it was always THE MOTHER buying the gift, donating the gift and then BUYING IT BACK. I preferred to give a $10 donation, but they HAD to add the extra humiliation. And the "gift worth $5"? difficult child 3 had absolutely NO IDEA. I think the most outrageous one was a plastic bag of old, outdated lipstick samples (full-size) in a few really horrible colours, about four tubes of each. No way can I wear them, no way can I throw them out. Other examples are usually equally horrid - a 50c bath bomb (I'd already tried that brand, it stained the bath and had no fragrance); a packet of face washers still with the $2.50 price tag on them; face cream samples, mostly already opened - you get the idea. I suspect they saved the worst ones for the kids who simply didn't know any better, which in my mind is adding exploitation on top of everything else. My favourite gift was a colourful scribbled card which had "I love Mummy" written on it. He'd made it with his aide, he was pleased with himself when he handed it to me. difficult child 3 wanted to buy me something for Mothers Day, I said I didn't want a bought gift but what I WOULD like for Mothers Day would be for him to make me a cup of coffee. Since he usually gets coffee too, from the same batch of beans, this will be a treat for us both. All I've ever wanted from the other kids is to be simply remembered. So often, I'm not. difficult child 1 has been thinking about it, though, because he said that his church is having a special Mothers Day service on Sunday and he really wants me to come along. easy child will always ring me up to wish me Happy Mothers Day. And this year we have BF2, who really should be planning to visit his own mother on Mothers Day, he hasn't seen her for six weeks. I need to talk to easy child 2/difficult child 2 about that this evening, so we can plan. I suspect on Mothers Day I'll be driving them out to visit, so they can also collect BF2's car (now repaired after easy child 2/difficult child 2's crash). So here's my advice - keep your expectations low, keep your sense of humour at the ready. And plan a Sunday afternoon getaway with another forgotten mother so you can watch a chick flick on DVD and drink sherry all afternoon, wallowing in misery. If you have a great day, cancel the sherry. Or not. I know my kids appreciate me, because they do sometimes tell me. I just have to remember to not expect it any more on this day, than any other day. Marg [/QUOTE]
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