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Just found your group and I need help....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 75027" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had a teen like yours.She's now 23. She used drugs and changed completely when the drugs started. I didn't know she was using them for a long time...duh. I just thought some mental illness had kicked up. Sad to say, kids who use drugs tend to run in packs and be defiant and disobedient. It is my opinion (I have raised other teens and have one now) that, trendy or not, cutting is a call for help. My daughter also cut. She tells me a lot now, because she has changed, and she explains that cutting "made me feel something." It became addictive for her and was hard to quit as were the various drugs she took--here I thought she was only using pot...haha. She refused help too. Finally, I decided that giving her a warm home and meals was actually hurting her. She turned eighteen and she had to choose either rehab and strict rules or she'd have to leave. She chose to leave. She was lucky--her straight arrow brother let her live with him and the funny thing is she listened to him. He lived in another state so she was away from druggie crowd too. She quit using drugs and even smoking cigarettes and is doing really well. My advice is, no matter how much it hurts--if the child refuses help, won't take medications, won't obey, won't go to therapy, continues defiance that it is probably hurting them more than helping to keep them at home, where they can continue the destruction. I can't say it would work well for you, but my daughter had no car when she moved in with her brother. She had to walk to Subway--that was her job. She had no druggie friends to hang with. She also had to help clean the house and cook. Her brother was hard on her, but she really straightened out her act. I thought she'd end up in jail or dead (no exaggeration) and now she's delightful and my best friend at age twenty-three. I would put my foot down: therapy, medications, rules, no drugs or send her somewhere else. If my daughter hadn't had a brother to go to, I still would have made her leave. She was a terrible example to her two younger siblings and I got tired of the police dropping by. For now, I would tell her she has no privacy and check her room periodically, also her diary, if she has one...you need to know if she is planning to do anything dangerous. I know how hard this is. I cried all night many nights!!! (((Hugs))) and good luck, whatever you decide to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 75027, member: 1550"] I had a teen like yours.She's now 23. She used drugs and changed completely when the drugs started. I didn't know she was using them for a long time...duh. I just thought some mental illness had kicked up. Sad to say, kids who use drugs tend to run in packs and be defiant and disobedient. It is my opinion (I have raised other teens and have one now) that, trendy or not, cutting is a call for help. My daughter also cut. She tells me a lot now, because she has changed, and she explains that cutting "made me feel something." It became addictive for her and was hard to quit as were the various drugs she took--here I thought she was only using pot...haha. She refused help too. Finally, I decided that giving her a warm home and meals was actually hurting her. She turned eighteen and she had to choose either rehab and strict rules or she'd have to leave. She chose to leave. She was lucky--her straight arrow brother let her live with him and the funny thing is she listened to him. He lived in another state so she was away from druggie crowd too. She quit using drugs and even smoking cigarettes and is doing really well. My advice is, no matter how much it hurts--if the child refuses help, won't take medications, won't obey, won't go to therapy, continues defiance that it is probably hurting them more than helping to keep them at home, where they can continue the destruction. I can't say it would work well for you, but my daughter had no car when she moved in with her brother. She had to walk to Subway--that was her job. She had no druggie friends to hang with. She also had to help clean the house and cook. Her brother was hard on her, but she really straightened out her act. I thought she'd end up in jail or dead (no exaggeration) and now she's delightful and my best friend at age twenty-three. I would put my foot down: therapy, medications, rules, no drugs or send her somewhere else. If my daughter hadn't had a brother to go to, I still would have made her leave. She was a terrible example to her two younger siblings and I got tired of the police dropping by. For now, I would tell her she has no privacy and check her room periodically, also her diary, if she has one...you need to know if she is planning to do anything dangerous. I know how hard this is. I cried all night many nights!!! (((Hugs))) and good luck, whatever you decide to do. [/QUOTE]
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