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Just Going to let it happen
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 755315" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Skittles, your situation really hits home with me. Though you are griefstricken about the kids, I think you are thinking clearly and setting important and necessary boundaries even though it is breaking your heart. As they say in 12 step, "hands off, heart on."</p><p></p><p>I had to let go, work on my own grief and health and pray that someday I will be able to be a loving presence in my grandchildren's lives again. I recognized that I am powerless to change my daughter despite my best intentions.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I've done the same: years of rescuing, taking her in, spending money, and custody cases all so she could retain or get back custody. She has two children and ended up with abusers with every relationship. She wanted rescue, but never took advice, got help, etc. It was too much for me to keep doing both financially and emotionally. She cut herself off from all of our family and has not spoken to me for over two years and told me I will never see my grandchildren again. The hardest thing is knowing how much my grandchildren need healthy role models, consistency, healing, and nurturing in their lives and how much they are damaged by their chaotic living circumstances</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sometimes I wish I was angry rather than sad because I have never seen my daughter, whom I know loves her children, put their welfare above her own dysfunctional relationships and desires. You have have done more than enough. I laud you for taking a stand. I, too, have also sometimes thought that all that I've given and done has allowed my daughter to keep doing the same thing and has not caused her to change for the better.</p><p></p><p>I hear your good heart. Get support. I had to call sponsors, my therapist, use this form, read, pray, call friends - all ALOT to maintain the strength to keep healthy boundaries and to heal my own heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 755315, member: 19832"] Skittles, your situation really hits home with me. Though you are griefstricken about the kids, I think you are thinking clearly and setting important and necessary boundaries even though it is breaking your heart. As they say in 12 step, "hands off, heart on." I had to let go, work on my own grief and health and pray that someday I will be able to be a loving presence in my grandchildren's lives again. I recognized that I am powerless to change my daughter despite my best intentions. I've done the same: years of rescuing, taking her in, spending money, and custody cases all so she could retain or get back custody. She has two children and ended up with abusers with every relationship. She wanted rescue, but never took advice, got help, etc. It was too much for me to keep doing both financially and emotionally. She cut herself off from all of our family and has not spoken to me for over two years and told me I will never see my grandchildren again. The hardest thing is knowing how much my grandchildren need healthy role models, consistency, healing, and nurturing in their lives and how much they are damaged by their chaotic living circumstances Sometimes I wish I was angry rather than sad because I have never seen my daughter, whom I know loves her children, put their welfare above her own dysfunctional relationships and desires. You have have done more than enough. I laud you for taking a stand. I, too, have also sometimes thought that all that I've given and done has allowed my daughter to keep doing the same thing and has not caused her to change for the better. I hear your good heart. Get support. I had to call sponsors, my therapist, use this form, read, pray, call friends - all ALOT to maintain the strength to keep healthy boundaries and to heal my own heart. [/QUOTE]
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