Just writing to vent and feel my way through this. To recap my ex daughter in law and mother of my 5 grandkids, is learning disabled, and borderline. With a family of 6, (5 young kids 2-10)She recently moved a new guy in who is violent. She has decided she cant live with him but shes pregnant.(number 6 not my grand) and says shes afraid of what hel do. She has always managed her money sort of ok but since he moved in, rent is way behind, internet is cut off. Soon her phone will be also. I think there is some financial abuse going on. Shes facing eviction end of february. Ive said before im just going to let this happen and I will but its just so hard as I know shes going to be homeless and my grandkids in foster care. Im really afraid it will be tramatic for them and create long term emotional separation issues. Especially as with 5 kids its unlikely they will be placed togeather. The kids are very close as they really seem to depend on each other as the adults in their life are so unreliable. Splitting them up will be horrible for them. My son (their father) is an ex-felon and is living with a girl who is a recovered oxy addict with 3 kids. He has tried for custody but the judge felt it was just trading one marginal situation for another. My husband and I are older and not in a position to take on 5 young children.The price of housing here has gone up so much theres nothing out there she can afford large enough for all those kids. I think the most she could manage is a 2 bedroom in a decent neighbourhood, maybe a 3 bedroom in a crappy neighbourhood. She is very unrealistic and is insisting she wants a 5 bedroom. Shes made no attempt to find a smaller affordable place. I dont know whats going to happen to them, if shes evicted i presume she will lose all her furniture and the kids belongings etc also. She has no money, bad rental credit and no car of her own. Shes asked me to help her with a deposit and mover cost and to cosign as its the only way she can get a place. A resounding NO, i cant give her money, Ive given her money in past and never get repaid, especially since this new guy has been involved. And i would never cosign for anyone. Ive helped her physically with property search and moving in the past and have helped her with her deposit, but she only lasts a year or two every where she moves before she has personal problems with the landlord, or decides she needs a bigger place, never satisfied. Since my oldest ten year old grandson was born she has moved 8 times, these poor kids never stay long enough anywhere to get stable in school. Im just tired of it all and want nothing to do with it this time, I hurt for them, I worry about them but shes dug such a deep hole this time with her bad rent history that becoming homeless looks inevitable. I offered to take her to the housing stability bank here awhike ago for a rent arrears loan but they will only help with one month and the landlord jyst wants her out. Its going to happen, its inevitable, im going to let it but I will feel like a monster when I look at my grandkids even though I know this is not my doing.
Tired and sad
Tired and sad