Skool Teacher
Member
Hi Everyone,
It‘s been a while since I last wrote. Adult daughter has her own place and is a mother of a 2 year old now. I put her out along with my granddaughter in December of 2021 after another bad blowout between us. She was being disrespectful, having tantrums, slamming doors, not cleaning, smoking weed and the whole nine. She humbled herself enough after 3 weeks of being homeless to come back and stay for a month and with my help and money, she moved into her own place in Feb 2022. Oh joy… oh no!
I paid the application fee, deposit and then the rent for the next 3-4 months. She let her then boyfriend move in and was able to 3 or 4 months with him. She put him out and then start asking me for help with rent again. She never has anything on the rent so my help means pay it all. She was able to get rental assistance from the state for 3 months until her lease was up then it was back to the Mommy ATM again until I finally said no more.
Why no more… well during this year and half of her having her own place, she will not get a full time job. She is set on keeping her food stamp benefits which won’t allow her to earn over $1888 a month. So she doesn’t earn enough to pay her utilities, car insurance, credit card,, phone bill and rent and whatever other bills she has that I don’t know about. She uses her daughter going to early head start as her excuse for only working 8 days out of the month at a laundromat cleaning lint trays and sweeping keeping things tidy.
I’ve given her over $15k since January 2022 for bills, gas money, car repairs, diaper money and most of all rent plus late fees and eviction fees from the rotten, money hungry witch she‘s renting from. When I give her money she’s never thankful, expects it and still disrespects me to no end whenever I question her about her finances or tell her that she needs to get a full time job! It’s always and argument then she will say I can’t see the baby and no contact… UNTIL SHE NEEDS MONEY AGAIN! Nothing I do is ever enough.
This cycle has been going on since she’s has got her own place and beyond. She needed more rent money plus all the fees associated with getting another eviction notice for June after I had just given her 2K for unpaid rent and late fees for April and May. So I’m officially done. She’s bleeding me dry and enough is enough. If I keep helping her the cycle will never end. She just turned 28 and I have enabled her to no end especially now that she has a 2 year old daughter that she uses to manipulate and guilt trip me to get money and for me to fix her life and bad decisions. I officially cut her off the money train May 1st. I dont respond to her text message pleas and if I respond to anything it’s only one or two word responses. She keeps asking for help with the rent and for food. And continues to hint around that she wants to move back home. Coming back home is not an option esp since shes threatened to fight me. I’m done.
The triple whammy… She is going to be evicted. She is pregnant and hasn’t told me and she’s 5 months and she is supposedly having twins! Found this out from my granddaughter‘s teachers. She has asked me to keep my granddaughter while she figures out what do do after she gets evicted. I don’t want my granddaughter sleeping in the car homeless, so I will take care of her until she gets it together, if ever. If I have to end up raising my granddaughter then I will.
I’m in shock and have no words. I was really starting feel guilty for cutting her off and still want to fix it and help her but if I want to keep my sanity, my finances intact and for her to go thru this journey of her choosing, I have to step off and let her go thru this no matter what it looks like or the continual stress and never ending drama she causes will cause me to have a mental breakdown. I’ve cried for two weeks and have anxiety about her getting evicted and being homeless but I can’t want more for her than she wants for herself. She could have gone to college and be well into a career making decent money but she didn’t want that and chooses to struggle, make bad decisions and constantly come to me to fix it financially. The last thing she needs is two more babies but I have no control over that either.
I‘m tired. I’m worn out. And I’m done. I just have to stay strong, stay the course and completely give her to God. Any words of wisdom and insight are welcome. Prayers for strength needed.
~Skool Teacher
It‘s been a while since I last wrote. Adult daughter has her own place and is a mother of a 2 year old now. I put her out along with my granddaughter in December of 2021 after another bad blowout between us. She was being disrespectful, having tantrums, slamming doors, not cleaning, smoking weed and the whole nine. She humbled herself enough after 3 weeks of being homeless to come back and stay for a month and with my help and money, she moved into her own place in Feb 2022. Oh joy… oh no!
I paid the application fee, deposit and then the rent for the next 3-4 months. She let her then boyfriend move in and was able to 3 or 4 months with him. She put him out and then start asking me for help with rent again. She never has anything on the rent so my help means pay it all. She was able to get rental assistance from the state for 3 months until her lease was up then it was back to the Mommy ATM again until I finally said no more.
Why no more… well during this year and half of her having her own place, she will not get a full time job. She is set on keeping her food stamp benefits which won’t allow her to earn over $1888 a month. So she doesn’t earn enough to pay her utilities, car insurance, credit card,, phone bill and rent and whatever other bills she has that I don’t know about. She uses her daughter going to early head start as her excuse for only working 8 days out of the month at a laundromat cleaning lint trays and sweeping keeping things tidy.
I’ve given her over $15k since January 2022 for bills, gas money, car repairs, diaper money and most of all rent plus late fees and eviction fees from the rotten, money hungry witch she‘s renting from. When I give her money she’s never thankful, expects it and still disrespects me to no end whenever I question her about her finances or tell her that she needs to get a full time job! It’s always and argument then she will say I can’t see the baby and no contact… UNTIL SHE NEEDS MONEY AGAIN! Nothing I do is ever enough.
This cycle has been going on since she’s has got her own place and beyond. She needed more rent money plus all the fees associated with getting another eviction notice for June after I had just given her 2K for unpaid rent and late fees for April and May. So I’m officially done. She’s bleeding me dry and enough is enough. If I keep helping her the cycle will never end. She just turned 28 and I have enabled her to no end especially now that she has a 2 year old daughter that she uses to manipulate and guilt trip me to get money and for me to fix her life and bad decisions. I officially cut her off the money train May 1st. I dont respond to her text message pleas and if I respond to anything it’s only one or two word responses. She keeps asking for help with the rent and for food. And continues to hint around that she wants to move back home. Coming back home is not an option esp since shes threatened to fight me. I’m done.
The triple whammy… She is going to be evicted. She is pregnant and hasn’t told me and she’s 5 months and she is supposedly having twins! Found this out from my granddaughter‘s teachers. She has asked me to keep my granddaughter while she figures out what do do after she gets evicted. I don’t want my granddaughter sleeping in the car homeless, so I will take care of her until she gets it together, if ever. If I have to end up raising my granddaughter then I will.
I’m in shock and have no words. I was really starting feel guilty for cutting her off and still want to fix it and help her but if I want to keep my sanity, my finances intact and for her to go thru this journey of her choosing, I have to step off and let her go thru this no matter what it looks like or the continual stress and never ending drama she causes will cause me to have a mental breakdown. I’ve cried for two weeks and have anxiety about her getting evicted and being homeless but I can’t want more for her than she wants for herself. She could have gone to college and be well into a career making decent money but she didn’t want that and chooses to struggle, make bad decisions and constantly come to me to fix it financially. The last thing she needs is two more babies but I have no control over that either.
I‘m tired. I’m worn out. And I’m done. I just have to stay strong, stay the course and completely give her to God. Any words of wisdom and insight are welcome. Prayers for strength needed.
~Skool Teacher
