So, following my last post, I took all of your advice and made some decisions. We came down hard on my daughter and she gets the point. She is engaging in counselling and has stopped smoking and thrown herself into her gym and athletics. As for my son, I cut contact and have not spoken to him for 6 weeks. I haven't blocked him or told him this, it just seemed unspoken and other then ringing late one night to say he could not read a letter I had emailed him which arrived at our house he has left it too. He texted me giving me his new number and I just wrote 'thanks'. I understand he has ANOTHER job and has been there 3 weeks although I suspect he has rang in sick a coupe of times already. I will be honest and say that I have thought of him everyday but yet I felt happier not having him directly in my life. I have also changed my relationship with his ex girlfriend after the terrible video she sent me. I have my little grandson once a week. We DO NOT discuss my son at all. She tries to initiate conversation about him on occasions but I do not bite and again things are better for me not being dragged into their constant drama. Then...yesterday his letting company called me saying he was £1,500 in arrears and as we were guarantors it needed paying!! We never signed to be guarantors so not sure where he got that from. I let me son know he needed to pay this and somehow he used this as a light to text me. He started saying how he had feelings and how he was struggling and I had no idea what it was like. Asking me why I could not accept him or why I had neglected him. Saying he did not understand. I told him he knew the truth and I was not going to explain myself because if anything I had said or done over the last 5 years was going to help then it would have already. He just put "ok mum, I understand" and that was it. Today, I feel heartbroken all over again. Torn. Guilty. I have just cried today that I have an overwhelming sense I have abandoned him just so I can not have to deal with his troubles. It hurts me that he is struggling and must feel alone with no family to support him even though I know the reasons why. Its hard to think of someone you love alone. I can't help to still think he must have mental health problems to still be on this path and I have just left him. I don't know how to 'be' with him. How to have a relationship with him, if any....if I should...if I even want to...how to base it, etc etc Again, I am terrified he will be homeless...its unbearable and I was ok. Ideas?