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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 738609" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I'm so sorry for the heartache you are experiencing. None of us here ever want to see our children suffer no matter their age. It just goes against the mommy in is that wants to make everything in their world okay but we can't. We do not have super powers and even if we did, we shouldn't.</p><p>Life is full of struggles and challenges. Some come upon us without notice and some we bring upon ourselves.</p><p>My son is finishing another prison sentence. My husband and I have never bailed him out and we never will.</p><p>I know your heart is breaking but please do not be hard on yourself. I would not allow a total stranger to abuse my trust so why would I from my own child? </p><p>You offered your son a chance, a very generous chance and he snubbed it. He made a choice to go out and party. That's on him, not you. You nor your husband did this to him. </p><p></p><p>This is a typical excuse. My son has also blamed me and my husband for everything that has gone wrong in his life. Here's the thing, we all have free will to choose how will live our lives. My son like yours has made very poor choices.</p><p>During the time my husband and I were enabling our son he never "blamed" us but as soon as we stopped giving into him, well suddenly, everything was our fault.</p><p>I've said it before, if love alone could save our children we wouldn't need this site. The sad truth is, we cannot save them. They are adults and the choices they make are theirs alone.</p><p>I've been dealing with my son for close to 20 years, he's 36. I know that I wasted many years and tens of thousands of dollars trying to "help" him. I wish I had found this site when he was younger and I might have been able to detach sooner.</p><p>This is just not an easy thing to deal with but you are here with people who understand and care.</p><p>Be good to yourself. Self care is so important.</p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 738609, member: 18516"] I'm so sorry for the heartache you are experiencing. None of us here ever want to see our children suffer no matter their age. It just goes against the mommy in is that wants to make everything in their world okay but we can't. We do not have super powers and even if we did, we shouldn't. Life is full of struggles and challenges. Some come upon us without notice and some we bring upon ourselves. My son is finishing another prison sentence. My husband and I have never bailed him out and we never will. I know your heart is breaking but please do not be hard on yourself. I would not allow a total stranger to abuse my trust so why would I from my own child? You offered your son a chance, a very generous chance and he snubbed it. He made a choice to go out and party. That's on him, not you. You nor your husband did this to him. This is a typical excuse. My son has also blamed me and my husband for everything that has gone wrong in his life. Here's the thing, we all have free will to choose how will live our lives. My son like yours has made very poor choices. During the time my husband and I were enabling our son he never "blamed" us but as soon as we stopped giving into him, well suddenly, everything was our fault. I've said it before, if love alone could save our children we wouldn't need this site. The sad truth is, we cannot save them. They are adults and the choices they make are theirs alone. I've been dealing with my son for close to 20 years, he's 36. I know that I wasted many years and tens of thousands of dollars trying to "help" him. I wish I had found this site when he was younger and I might have been able to detach sooner. This is just not an easy thing to deal with but you are here with people who understand and care. Be good to yourself. Self care is so important. ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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