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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 738655" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Heavy. You have no control here. It is not your fault. </p><p></p><p>I can think of not one mother posting on this board right now. Who I believe could have done one thing more to save their child. </p><p></p><p>Our sons must save themselves. This is what husband knows.</p><p></p><p>There is the hope that son learns. I believe he will. HE can turn this around.</p><p></p><p>There is a mother who posts here sometimes. Whose son too is in a year long program. Like rn's boy. Or maybe it was rn. Who said this. That her son had to learn and did learn in the program that he was not g-d.</p><p></p><p>With our love and crying and care and taking responsibility we as if enshrine them. I did that. I taught him I would do anything. Forgive anything. Tolerate anything. Believe anything. That I as if worshipped at his altar.</p><p></p><p>Actually I have a dog like that. Romy. We joke about it. If I pick Romy up he thinks he is a little precious thing--all important. The center of the world. I don't pick him up so much. It goes to his head.</p><p></p><p>Son needs to learn there is nobody who will pick him up. But himself. All of us need to learn this.</p><p></p><p>I know 14 years is a lot. But it is not a whole life. I worked in prisons. There were mothers who had to deal with son's learning lessons. When they were facing life. Or worse. I am not trivializing this. </p><p></p><p>But you did not decide the circumstances of his learning. Nor can you.</p><p></p><p>The pain is 20 is young. He is really operating from a juvenile brain. But the law holds him accountable. </p><p></p><p>I can see how you and his father would want to shield and support him. I believe your husband could moderate his stand in time. But I also believe there is learning in this for us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 738655, member: 18958"] Heavy. You have no control here. It is not your fault. I can think of not one mother posting on this board right now. Who I believe could have done one thing more to save their child. Our sons must save themselves. This is what husband knows. There is the hope that son learns. I believe he will. HE can turn this around. There is a mother who posts here sometimes. Whose son too is in a year long program. Like rn's boy. Or maybe it was rn. Who said this. That her son had to learn and did learn in the program that he was not g-d. With our love and crying and care and taking responsibility we as if enshrine them. I did that. I taught him I would do anything. Forgive anything. Tolerate anything. Believe anything. That I as if worshipped at his altar. Actually I have a dog like that. Romy. We joke about it. If I pick Romy up he thinks he is a little precious thing--all important. The center of the world. I don't pick him up so much. It goes to his head. Son needs to learn there is nobody who will pick him up. But himself. All of us need to learn this. I know 14 years is a lot. But it is not a whole life. I worked in prisons. There were mothers who had to deal with son's learning lessons. When they were facing life. Or worse. I am not trivializing this. But you did not decide the circumstances of his learning. Nor can you. The pain is 20 is young. He is really operating from a juvenile brain. But the law holds him accountable. I can see how you and his father would want to shield and support him. I believe your husband could moderate his stand in time. But I also believe there is learning in this for us. [/QUOTE]
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