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<blockquote data-quote="Heavy hearted" data-source="post: 738858" data-attributes="member: 23067"><p>Nomad,</p><p>Thank you for your kind words. </p><p>Son has a new charge. got arrested yesterday. When he was in prison last time, I kept a journal. I would write down my feelings for the week during his stay. He did read the journal front to back. In one paragraph, I explained to him that if he goes back to jail for ANY reason, do not attempt to call me. I cannot lose myself in his world anymore. This rollercoaster ride has made me sick and I want to get off. We have tried multiple times to help him get back on his feet. He will not except the blame for his wrong doings. "It's everyone else's fault" for the way he chose to live his life. The pain is real and I'm trying to keep from spiraling into a deep depression. I have already had to change my cell #, he's has called every chance he gets. I'm hurt, angry, sad and at a loss. I don't know all the details of his latest arrest, but it really doesn't matter. I can no longer be there for him. My husband urges me to seek help. I am so tired. I have not really cried a whole lot this time. My hope for him has been sucked down the drain. I will continue to grieve and pray for my living child. I feel for the sake of myself, my husband and my daughter, I can have no contact with him right now. My heart, body and mind are all working against each. My heart goes goes out to each and everyone of you asking for guidance from this site. God bless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Heavy hearted, post: 738858, member: 23067"] Nomad, Thank you for your kind words. Son has a new charge. got arrested yesterday. When he was in prison last time, I kept a journal. I would write down my feelings for the week during his stay. He did read the journal front to back. In one paragraph, I explained to him that if he goes back to jail for ANY reason, do not attempt to call me. I cannot lose myself in his world anymore. This rollercoaster ride has made me sick and I want to get off. We have tried multiple times to help him get back on his feet. He will not except the blame for his wrong doings. "It's everyone else's fault" for the way he chose to live his life. The pain is real and I'm trying to keep from spiraling into a deep depression. I have already had to change my cell #, he's has called every chance he gets. I'm hurt, angry, sad and at a loss. I don't know all the details of his latest arrest, but it really doesn't matter. I can no longer be there for him. My husband urges me to seek help. I am so tired. I have not really cried a whole lot this time. My hope for him has been sucked down the drain. I will continue to grieve and pray for my living child. I feel for the sake of myself, my husband and my daughter, I can have no contact with him right now. My heart, body and mind are all working against each. My heart goes goes out to each and everyone of you asking for guidance from this site. God bless. [/QUOTE]
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