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Substance Abuse
just threw my 16-yr-old difficult child & friends out for smoking weed at my house...
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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 295186" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>Nancy, I'm so sorry. I have a friend in town whose daughter was adopted at birth, diagnosis'd with bipolar disorder in her early teens, and since then has displayed anti-social and reckless behavior included heavy drug use on top of her psychiatric drugs. The parents have sent her to two different wilderness programs in Utah trying to straighten her out, but she came back the same way. They tried a therapeutic day high school because she has abandonement issues from being adopted and didn't want to be "sent away" again, she did more drugs at school (my daughter was right there with her, snorting coke behind the school). She got arrested for breaking into unoccupied houses. The family has spent a fortune trying to help her, and that's just money. I recall meeting the mom outside the high school one afternoon adn she was near tears, saying that today was the first time she had the feeling that maybe it was never going to get any better.</p><p> </p><p>I still have hope, but my kids' issues are not the same as her daughter's, nor yours. Perhaps both of us would be helped by looking into something like Al Anon to give us strength to let go and not be sucked into any more drama. All I know is that I have been a stay at home mom for 19 years, completely focused on my kids to the detriment of my marriage and sense of self, and my kids are more effed up than anybody I know, certainly more than anyone in my family. The way I've been operating has not helped. It is time to change tactics.</p><p> </p><p>Yesterday difficult child 2 met with his new PO, a drill-sergeant type, adn she read him the riot act for not attending school or substance abuse counseling. Told him if he missed one day of school or one meeting, she'd violate him and give him nine more months of probation (his probation ends Sept. 2). Well, he went to school today. He seems to have trouble seeing his role in things (his dad is the same way when it comes to family issues): everything is everyone else's problem. His probation? Totally my fault for having him arrested for vandalizing my home and breaking my tv. </p><p> </p><p>He put two more holes in my walls this past weekend because he was angry with his younger sister for sleeping in "his" bedroom at my home while her floors were being refinished. Found a half-drunk cup of Coke under her bed (yuck, she's a slob) and was so incensed he dropped her Nikon camera that I bought her for her birthday last year into the soda. I found it and salvaged it just in time. </p><p> </p><p>and he wonders why I don't want him living with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 295186, member: 5941"] Nancy, I'm so sorry. I have a friend in town whose daughter was adopted at birth, diagnosis'd with bipolar disorder in her early teens, and since then has displayed anti-social and reckless behavior included heavy drug use on top of her psychiatric drugs. The parents have sent her to two different wilderness programs in Utah trying to straighten her out, but she came back the same way. They tried a therapeutic day high school because she has abandonement issues from being adopted and didn't want to be "sent away" again, she did more drugs at school (my daughter was right there with her, snorting coke behind the school). She got arrested for breaking into unoccupied houses. The family has spent a fortune trying to help her, and that's just money. I recall meeting the mom outside the high school one afternoon adn she was near tears, saying that today was the first time she had the feeling that maybe it was never going to get any better. I still have hope, but my kids' issues are not the same as her daughter's, nor yours. Perhaps both of us would be helped by looking into something like Al Anon to give us strength to let go and not be sucked into any more drama. All I know is that I have been a stay at home mom for 19 years, completely focused on my kids to the detriment of my marriage and sense of self, and my kids are more effed up than anybody I know, certainly more than anyone in my family. The way I've been operating has not helped. It is time to change tactics. Yesterday difficult child 2 met with his new PO, a drill-sergeant type, adn she read him the riot act for not attending school or substance abuse counseling. Told him if he missed one day of school or one meeting, she'd violate him and give him nine more months of probation (his probation ends Sept. 2). Well, he went to school today. He seems to have trouble seeing his role in things (his dad is the same way when it comes to family issues): everything is everyone else's problem. His probation? Totally my fault for having him arrested for vandalizing my home and breaking my tv. He put two more holes in my walls this past weekend because he was angry with his younger sister for sleeping in "his" bedroom at my home while her floors were being refinished. Found a half-drunk cup of Coke under her bed (yuck, she's a slob) and was so incensed he dropped her Nikon camera that I bought her for her birthday last year into the soda. I found it and salvaged it just in time. and he wonders why I don't want him living with me. [/QUOTE]
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just threw my 16-yr-old difficult child & friends out for smoking weed at my house...
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