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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 670011" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hey Jude, so sorry to hear of your continued troubles. Rough road we are all on here. Really, really rough. I remember how much my insides were full up with the insanity of it all. The key is to empty it out and let something else in.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">This is your song, the "her" or the something, is peace, and love, and time, and healing, or whatever you need to help you through all of this. So let it out and let it in.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]eDdI7GhZSQA[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I do not know if it was my last encounter with my G-F-Gs (Gifts from God aka Difficult Adult Children), or, an accumulation of years of struggle, menopause, <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/919Mad.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":919Mad:" title="Mad :919Mad:" data-shortname=":919Mad:" />- but I have finally reached the point of no return and numbness. I am....DONE.</p><p></p><p>The biggest, baddest red flag of "<span style="font-size: 18px">holy<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/poop.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":poop:" title="poop :poop:" data-shortname=":poop:" /> that is enough</span>" </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><em>was looking at my 14 year old son </em></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><em> curled up in a fetal position ,</em></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><em> bawling his eyes out </em></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><em> with the frustration of it all.</em></span></span></p><p></p><p>What was dialed in, turned on, radar, focused on the craziness and trying to.... what do we call it...help?</p><p>All gone. Tuned out.</p><p></p><p>I said to the good Lord, "You have given me these two blessings and I can't for the life of me figure them out, so please Lord, take them, I give them back to you."</p><p></p><p>Whenever my thoughts turn to them, I say a very quick prayer. I have not seen or heard from them for two months now and I am not ashamed to say it has been....<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0)">peaceful.</span></p><p>I must say spending time here, sharing my story, thoughts, ideas, knowing there are others out there with similar trials, folks who have overcome, there are simply not enough words to express my gratitude for this site.</p><p><span style="color: #336600"></span></p><p><span style="color: #336600">PEACE, </span>so vital.....Which brings me to your post-</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I don't know if my two have mental illnesses, after years of drug use, by now, they probably do. What they have in common with your son- </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">1.Adults </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">2.Drug Users </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">3.Habitual liars </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">4.<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0)">Master manipulators.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">They are like puppeteers and the strings they use on us, their mothers, are our heartstrings. It is difficult to cut those strings, but cut them I had to.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">I had to let go and let God, because I have to be able to look into my 14 year old boys eyes and his future and be able to say that I did my darndest to make sure while he was under my care and my roof to make things right by him. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"><em><strong>To make it better.</strong></em></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">I pray for you in your situation, that you are able to focus on your two young ones.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">You have given your 23 year old your all. He is still managing to </span><span style="color: #ff0000">manipulate </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">you from jail. He is tugging at those mama heartstrings with all of his might to draw you into the dilemma he put himself in and rob you of your </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 179, 0)"><em>peace</em></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(89, 179, 0)"><strong>Peace is everything.</strong></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(89, 179, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Of all the things I regret losing by my years of helping...nay, say enabling, is my </span><span style="color: rgb(89, 179, 0)"><em>peace, and my sons peace.</em></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Then, topping the list right up there with </span><span style="color: rgb(89, 179, 0)">peace.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">... is </span><span style="color: #0000ff">time</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0)">Your son, like my two are just on loan to us from God or whatever higher power you look to. They have to find their way, and they have to learn that we are not there for them to step all over in the finding of it.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">When our adult children are in dire straits, </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">it seems like the end of the world. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">It is not. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">There is hope. </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">They have to learn from the seeds they sow and the consequences they reap.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"><em><strong>We do not have to allow them to keep us at the end of our ropes. </strong></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>We have much more to live for. </strong></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Hey Jude, you have value, you have worth. </strong></span></span></p><p></p><p><strong>Find your <span style="color: #336600">peace</span>, let it into your heart, under your skin.</strong></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">Vent away dear and then.....<em><strong>make it better</strong></em>.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px">Leafy</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-size: 15px"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 670011, member: 19522"] Hey Jude, so sorry to hear of your continued troubles. Rough road we are all on here. Really, really rough. I remember how much my insides were full up with the insanity of it all. The key is to empty it out and let something else in. [SIZE=4][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)] This is your song, the "her" or the something, is peace, and love, and time, and healing, or whatever you need to help you through all of this. So let it out and let it in. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [MEDIA=youtube]eDdI7GhZSQA[/MEDIA] I do not know if it was my last encounter with my G-F-Gs (Gifts from God aka Difficult Adult Children), or, an accumulation of years of struggle, menopause, :919Mad:- but I have finally reached the point of no return and numbness. I am....DONE. The biggest, baddest red flag of "[SIZE=5]holy:poop: that is enough[/SIZE]" [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [SIZE=3][I]was looking at my 14 year old son [/I] [I] curled up in a fetal position ,[/I] [I] bawling his eyes out [/I] [I] with the frustration of it all.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT] What was dialed in, turned on, radar, focused on the craziness and trying to.... what do we call it...help? All gone. Tuned out. I said to the good Lord, "You have given me these two blessings and I can't for the life of me figure them out, so please Lord, take them, I give them back to you." Whenever my thoughts turn to them, I say a very quick prayer. I have not seen or heard from them for two months now and I am not ashamed to say it has been....[COLOR=rgb(0, 102, 0)]peaceful.[/COLOR] I must say spending time here, sharing my story, thoughts, ideas, knowing there are others out there with similar trials, folks who have overcome, there are simply not enough words to express my gratitude for this site. [COLOR=#336600] PEACE, [/COLOR]so vital.....Which brings me to your post- [SIZE=4]I don't know if my two have mental illnesses, after years of drug use, by now, they probably do. What they have in common with your son- 1.Adults 2.Drug Users 3.Habitual liars 4.[COLOR=rgb(255, 0, 0)]Master manipulators.[/COLOR] [COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)] They are like puppeteers and the strings they use on us, their mothers, are our heartstrings. It is difficult to cut those strings, but cut them I had to. I had to let go and let God, because I have to be able to look into my 14 year old boys eyes and his future and be able to say that I did my darndest to make sure while he was under my care and my roof to make things right by him. [I][B]To make it better.[/B][/I] I pray for you in your situation, that you are able to focus on your two young ones. You have given your 23 year old your all. He is still managing to [/COLOR][COLOR=#ff0000]manipulate [/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]you from jail. He is tugging at those mama heartstrings with all of his might to draw you into the dilemma he put himself in and rob you of your [/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(0, 179, 0)][I]peace[/I][/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]. [/COLOR] [COLOR=rgb(89, 179, 0)][B]Peace is everything.[/B] [/COLOR] [COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]Of all the things I regret losing by my years of helping...nay, say enabling, is my [/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(89, 179, 0)][I]peace, and my sons peace.[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]Then, topping the list right up there with [/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(89, 179, 0)]peace.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]... is [/COLOR][COLOR=#0000ff]time[/COLOR][COLOR=rgb(0, 0, 0)]. Your son, like my two are just on loan to us from God or whatever higher power you look to. They have to find their way, and they have to learn that we are not there for them to step all over in the finding of it.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [COLOR=#000000][SIZE=4] When our adult children are in dire straits, it seems like the end of the world. It is not. There is hope. They have to learn from the seeds they sow and the consequences they reap. [I][B]We do not have to allow them to keep us at the end of our ropes. [/B][/I] [B]We have much more to live for. [/B] [B]Hey Jude, you have value, you have worth. [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B]Find your [COLOR=#336600]peace[/COLOR], let it into your heart, under your skin.[/B] [COLOR=#000000][SIZE=4] Vent away dear and then.....[I][B]make it better[/B][/I]. Leafy :staystrong: :notalone:[/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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