Just When I thought Things were Better...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, May 13, 2013.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I haven't been posting much lately - mostly because I thought things were going well and I didn't want to risk the Board Curse...

    but also because I am getting used to heartache and disappointment. It's become more of a dull pain rather than an open wound.

    There's been a thousand sad stories as difficult child lies to us about each new thing. I'm just so tired of it...it's hard to even give a darn.

    And then this weekend:

    difficult child has been working really long hours at this new job at a department store. We were SOOO proud of her for getting the job - and it seemed like one really positive thing that she had going. The job is almost 10 miles from our house - so driving her there and picking her up is nearly 40 miles of driving for husband or I....but we were so proud, we were more than happy to do it.

    Until husband found out that difficult child is actually NOT working long hours at this job. He checked her cell phone and discovered that after we drop her off at "work" - she has guys come pick her up. She spends the whole day doing who-knows-what with who-knows-who and then gets dropped off at "work" and calls husband to come and pick her up because her "shift" is over.

    I give up. I'm just done.

    husband was so mad he wrote up a legal "30 days notice" letter - and then he waffled at the last minute (o what if she can't find a nice place by then?) and made it 45 days and he presented it to her after "work".

    Now this morning, difficult child is posting on FB how life would be easier if they didn't go sticking their noses in where they don't belong. As far as SHE is concerned, she can do what she wants and husband has no right looking at her phone. Who cares if she was at work or not?

    This is going to be a very long 45 days...
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Errrm... 45 days... Nice place... Not working, ergo, no money... Not gonna happen.

  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Oh yeah... I think I mentioned before that difficult child had picked out a luxury apt complex in the center of town. She had said that she was just gonna stay here until a unit opened up.

    Um...yeah...OK. What if a unit *does* open up? Then what? It's not as if she can afford it...

    And husband made me so aggravated with that whole thing. He was SOO mad he was ready to throw her out in the streets by the ears! I told him, legally, we have to evict her. You have to do it in writing...30 days notice.

    Then husband launched into well 30 days probably wasn't enough time....blah...blah...blah....and she can't possibly get her act together by then....blah...blah...blah...

    OK - so 30 days notice is too short - but throwing her out onto the streets with nothing would have been fine?

  4. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I haven't seen you post in a while and I was wondering how things were going. I'm sorry to hear that she has been lying to you about the job all this time.

    What will husband do in 45 days when difficult child is not ready in any way to leave the house? Will he allow her to stay? I think it's funny that she thinks a unit in this luxury complex will magically open up and become available right when she needs to. Has she one to see the ? Have they explained to her how much they cost? You telling her that she can't afford it goes in one ear and right out the other. If someone else, like the building manager, tells her she is way out of her league, then she might actually understand that she is aiming way too high.

    Who pays for difficult child's phone? If the answer if you then your husband has every right to check her phone. Period. End of sentence. You have the right to know what she is doing with her phone privilege.
  5. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Oh, my word. Just wow. I don't even know what I'd do, except I know I'd be trying to find a way to get her O.U.T. of my home. She has some cajones, for sure!
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Does she have her HS diploma? Is she getting in a few weeks? March her bony butt down to the recruiters office and introduce her to the NEXT place she shall be living for the next 4 years because she certainly doesnt have any other plans. She has 5 choices...Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard.
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Seems excessive to me. Why wouldn't he ground her for a month and take phone away for 2 months? Require an actual visual of work schedule. Done.
  8. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    How do you ground an adult?
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh nooo, what a huge letdown! I'm so sorry. I'd be furious.
    You have no choice. She has to go. I'm so so so sorry. {{hugs}}
  10. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Wow, just wow. I just don't understand that fantasy world that our difficult child's live in sometimes. I am sorry, but sounds like she's gonna have to learn the hard way. Hugs.
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    husband did try a version of this. He said there will be no more rides to or from "work" without a visual of her schedule and/or timecard....AND he wanted her to turn over her phone.

    difficult child felt it her whereabouts was none of his business since since is now an "adult" and no longer had to to what he said. Given the choice of turning over the phone or leaving - she prefers leaving.
  12. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    These kids will just never get itnthrough their thick heads how good they really have it at home. Is she really leaving? How do you feel about that?
  13. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    How do I feel about it? Truthfully, the over-whelming emotion is relief more than anything else....not so much because I think that difficult child has finally "grown up" or anything - but because the day-to-day, in-your-face, constant drama and tension will be out of my house.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I hear you, DF!
    Will she go live with-a friend? If she isn't working, she won't have any income.
    husband and I are already thinking we'll have to subsidize our difficult child when he moves out ... just to keep him out. :)
  15. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    To not have the daily difficult child grind must feel liberating.