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K Thinking About Moving Back
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 310523" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Exactly Donna.</p><p> </p><p>I love K and those kids and I would love to have our family all back in the same place again. I'd love for K and the kids to have the support of their family in both the physical sense as well as the emotional/mental sense. It would be awesome for K to move back and take advantage of the same opportunities as her sibs and be able to make a real life for her and her kids...........instead of the hades they've been living.</p><p> </p><p>I know K regrets deeply ever having thrown away those opportunities the first time around. I know she regrets deeply walking away from her family. In many ways she has grown and matured.......in others she seems to be "stuck" for lack of a better word. Maybe she's stuck because of Him, maybe she's stuck because she'd gotten so used to living that way that she just didn't think there was a way out of it. Or maybe it's because she's just a difficult child at heart.</p><p> </p><p>It's possible this is part of her thinking she wants to rid herself of husband/boyfriend once and for all. I know she sees no possible way of doing it there.....no real support system at all. She spoke of wanting to leave him for a while now.....but not being able to manage it with the job situation, lack of child care, ect.</p><p> </p><p>I know she's been considering moving back for a long time. Kayla let it slip months ago.</p><p> </p><p>Or it could be that they have created a situation there and need to get out of town. Like the one they'd created here. K denies any situation making her leave before.......I wanted to believe her.......but my information came from reliable sources and well......after "watching" them for over a year now......I'll just leave it as I don't know all the details but it's enough that it really, really bothers me.</p><p> </p><p>How are they paying for that motel room? That's been a nagging question forever.</p><p> </p><p>Of course I can't tell her no she can't move here. She's an adult who can do as she wants. But I can and will make it clear she will not live/stay in my home regardless.</p><p> </p><p>If I am honest with myself, truly honest..........I want k and the kids here more than anything. difficult child or not, I love her and those grands. I want the very best for her. I want her to be secure, find happiness, and be able to enjoy the love of her family.</p><p> </p><p>I just let husband in on it. Wow. He didn't take it so well. But then turned around with........well, there may be tons of dishwasher jobs available for all we know......we don't know anyone working in that capacity to be able to judge. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> Men!</p><p> </p><p>K's biggest hurdles would be to have an apartment ready to move into that is income based so she could afford to stay there until she found a job. Next would be the welfare for herself and the kids even if it was just foodstamps and insurance. Those are 2 really big hurdles. And that first one I'm not even sure can be done, nor do I know how to find out if it can be done.</p><p> </p><p>Even if K told me she wanted to come here to leave her husband/boyfriend, I'm afraid I won't believe her. (not that I don't want to) That was her reason the last time......and it sooo didn't happen. He either came with her or he followed her and the rest you know. Nor do I fool myself it will be easy for her to leave him. She's been with this jerk since she was 14, basically still a kid. So being the pessimist I am, I'd expect him to come with her.</p><p> </p><p>*shudder*</p><p> </p><p>I just don't see me being able to make nicey nicey with the guy. I gave him a fair chance and he hung himself with it.</p><p> </p><p>So I've come up with Pros and Cons</p><p> </p><p>Pros:</p><p> </p><p>K would have her family support. She could go back to school. She would have no problem finding a low income apartment to live in. I'd know very shortly if she truely does have the chiari malformation......and if she does, she has someone nearby for her kids if necessary. Kayla, Alex, and Evan would finally learn the joys of extended family that is close both in location and in relationships. They would also unknowingly have the <strong>protection</strong> of that loving extended family.</p><p> </p><p>Cons:</p><p> </p><p>K's husband/boyfriend would come along. Their lives could remain basically the same, just in a different location. I would have to attempt to tolerate the husband/boyfriend.......still don't see myself managing that.</p><p> </p><p>Although, even with the cons........the grands would still have the love, support, and protection of their extended family. For them, if K decides to move back here.....it is a win/win situation.</p><p> </p><p>And with the cons........I'm not the woman I was 7 or so years ago. If K came here, it would be up to her to take advantage of the opportunities and make them work for her......by herself. She'll have all the emotional support she can stand......but nothing financially. It will be up to her to make the changes she needs to make in her life.</p><p> </p><p>I know this is long.........I'm sort of using this post as my thinking place. It's easier for me to think this thru seeing it in type. I've still got to talk to all the kids about this. They may be able to help me think of things I haven't considered. And I'd like to hear how they feel about it as well.</p><p> </p><p>I just keep thinking it just should not be this complicated.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 310523, member: 84"] Exactly Donna. I love K and those kids and I would love to have our family all back in the same place again. I'd love for K and the kids to have the support of their family in both the physical sense as well as the emotional/mental sense. It would be awesome for K to move back and take advantage of the same opportunities as her sibs and be able to make a real life for her and her kids...........instead of the hades they've been living. I know K regrets deeply ever having thrown away those opportunities the first time around. I know she regrets deeply walking away from her family. In many ways she has grown and matured.......in others she seems to be "stuck" for lack of a better word. Maybe she's stuck because of Him, maybe she's stuck because she'd gotten so used to living that way that she just didn't think there was a way out of it. Or maybe it's because she's just a difficult child at heart. It's possible this is part of her thinking she wants to rid herself of husband/boyfriend once and for all. I know she sees no possible way of doing it there.....no real support system at all. She spoke of wanting to leave him for a while now.....but not being able to manage it with the job situation, lack of child care, ect. I know she's been considering moving back for a long time. Kayla let it slip months ago. Or it could be that they have created a situation there and need to get out of town. Like the one they'd created here. K denies any situation making her leave before.......I wanted to believe her.......but my information came from reliable sources and well......after "watching" them for over a year now......I'll just leave it as I don't know all the details but it's enough that it really, really bothers me. How are they paying for that motel room? That's been a nagging question forever. Of course I can't tell her no she can't move here. She's an adult who can do as she wants. But I can and will make it clear she will not live/stay in my home regardless. If I am honest with myself, truly honest..........I want k and the kids here more than anything. difficult child or not, I love her and those grands. I want the very best for her. I want her to be secure, find happiness, and be able to enjoy the love of her family. I just let husband in on it. Wow. He didn't take it so well. But then turned around with........well, there may be tons of dishwasher jobs available for all we know......we don't know anyone working in that capacity to be able to judge. :raspberry-tounge: Men! K's biggest hurdles would be to have an apartment ready to move into that is income based so she could afford to stay there until she found a job. Next would be the welfare for herself and the kids even if it was just foodstamps and insurance. Those are 2 really big hurdles. And that first one I'm not even sure can be done, nor do I know how to find out if it can be done. Even if K told me she wanted to come here to leave her husband/boyfriend, I'm afraid I won't believe her. (not that I don't want to) That was her reason the last time......and it sooo didn't happen. He either came with her or he followed her and the rest you know. Nor do I fool myself it will be easy for her to leave him. She's been with this jerk since she was 14, basically still a kid. So being the pessimist I am, I'd expect him to come with her. *shudder* I just don't see me being able to make nicey nicey with the guy. I gave him a fair chance and he hung himself with it. So I've come up with Pros and Cons Pros: K would have her family support. She could go back to school. She would have no problem finding a low income apartment to live in. I'd know very shortly if she truely does have the chiari malformation......and if she does, she has someone nearby for her kids if necessary. Kayla, Alex, and Evan would finally learn the joys of extended family that is close both in location and in relationships. They would also unknowingly have the [B]protection[/B] of that loving extended family. Cons: K's husband/boyfriend would come along. Their lives could remain basically the same, just in a different location. I would have to attempt to tolerate the husband/boyfriend.......still don't see myself managing that. Although, even with the cons........the grands would still have the love, support, and protection of their extended family. For them, if K decides to move back here.....it is a win/win situation. And with the cons........I'm not the woman I was 7 or so years ago. If K came here, it would be up to her to take advantage of the opportunities and make them work for her......by herself. She'll have all the emotional support she can stand......but nothing financially. It will be up to her to make the changes she needs to make in her life. I know this is long.........I'm sort of using this post as my thinking place. It's easier for me to think this thru seeing it in type. I've still got to talk to all the kids about this. They may be able to help me think of things I haven't considered. And I'd like to hear how they feel about it as well. I just keep thinking it just should not be this complicated.:knockedout: [/QUOTE]
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