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Parent Emeritus
kicked 18 year old daughter out
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 617551" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. </p><p></p><p>If you are doing twelve step, then you already know the answer to your own question: You can't help her. She has to help herself. You can only control one person...you. And, frankly, for whatever reason, your daughter assaulted you, which is a crime and very dangerous. I'm guessing she was probably drunk or on drugs, but that should just show her more pointedly that she shouldn't be indulging in those activities. Did she express remorse? In our house, we have a zero tolerance level for violence. You can't live with us if you are violent. I don't see this as an issue of respect, although it is a part of it, but I see this as a safety issue. If she did it once, she could do it again, next time maybe to her younger siblings.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion keep going to Al-Anon, take care of YOURSELF and YOUR needs, and you can offer your daughter suggestions, such as going to rehab or therapy. If she isn't interested, then you know she isn't going to change. She has to want to change. You should probably start to detach from her drama. </p><p></p><p>If this were me, she would not be coming home until I knew her drug use/alcohol use was under control, she had gone through a program, she had dumped her drug using/drinking friends (this is the biggest sign that she has quit..or is still doing it) and has given a heartfelt apology. Your other two don't need to see violence in the house. </p><p></p><p>This is not your fault. A lot of kids grow up with "softie" parents and don't hit them. Your daughter is a young adult now and the onus is on her. She is legally and morally responsible for her own behavior.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 617551, member: 1550"] Hi there. If you are doing twelve step, then you already know the answer to your own question: You can't help her. She has to help herself. You can only control one person...you. And, frankly, for whatever reason, your daughter assaulted you, which is a crime and very dangerous. I'm guessing she was probably drunk or on drugs, but that should just show her more pointedly that she shouldn't be indulging in those activities. Did she express remorse? In our house, we have a zero tolerance level for violence. You can't live with us if you are violent. I don't see this as an issue of respect, although it is a part of it, but I see this as a safety issue. If she did it once, she could do it again, next time maybe to her younger siblings. in my opinion keep going to Al-Anon, take care of YOURSELF and YOUR needs, and you can offer your daughter suggestions, such as going to rehab or therapy. If she isn't interested, then you know she isn't going to change. She has to want to change. You should probably start to detach from her drama. If this were me, she would not be coming home until I knew her drug use/alcohol use was under control, she had gone through a program, she had dumped her drug using/drinking friends (this is the biggest sign that she has quit..or is still doing it) and has given a heartfelt apology. Your other two don't need to see violence in the house. This is not your fault. A lot of kids grow up with "softie" parents and don't hit them. Your daughter is a young adult now and the onus is on her. She is legally and morally responsible for her own behavior. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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kicked 18 year old daughter out
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