Kjs, you sound so overwhelmed with all you are dealing with. You have received alot of good advice from caring people in this post and your others. I don't have any advice to add , except to emphasize the importance of putting yourself first and seeking support for yourself.
To answer your question, absolutely you are correct in taking away computer priveleges. These kids need boundaries and to see their actions have consquences. I have found with my difficult child that having clear consquences and maintaining a "neutral" (non-emotional)stance in discussions goes a long way in helping him reign himself in.
