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Knowing what to do and doing it!
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 633234" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Wendy, you took my question! I will eagerly await responses because I am not one to give advice.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday, literally on the heels of my posting on another thread that we have to remember all the things they have done so we don't get sucked into their vortex again, the doorbell rang and my difficult child was at the door, in full backpacking gear and covered head to toe in dirt. As a bit of back history, last week I dropped off a letter to him in detox telling him about our pain and disappointment that he had relapsed after 5 months of sobriety and even accelerated his drug use. I knew he had left detox but did not know the details.</p><p></p><p>Where he went was leaving detox the day he got my letter, couch surfing with a friend for 4 days, spending most of his remaining money on some 4 Loco Tuesday night and impulsively sneaking over here to get his backpacking gear out of the shed, driving his car far back into the woods with the plan that he would hide his car and hike around the country, getting the car buried up to the axles in soft sand on a power access road in the middle of nowhere, THEN remembering he did not take any food or water and forgot to make the payment on his cell phone so he lost service. That's when he hiked the 8 miles to Walmart, spent his last $7 on Pop Tarts and water, camped in the woods behind Walmart, and hiked the 5 miles to my house yesterday.</p><p></p><p>Yeah.</p><p></p><p>I swore I would never let this kid spend another night in my house and I would never again shield him from the consequences of his bad choices. </p><p></p><p>Yet I spent my evening helping jack and dig the car out, making him dinner, and helping him figure out his next move. And it's 10 AM and he's asleep upstairs. So I don't know. I just don't know how we follow through.</p><p></p><p>I guess I will go roust him now and tell him it's time to go follow up on that plan he decided on last night and hope somehow one or both of us learned something from this little adventure. I'm starting to think all we can do is try to follow through, realize it won't happen every time, learn, and move on to the next time. We crave certainty, but there is no such thing, especially in the world of a difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 633234, member: 17720"] Wendy, you took my question! I will eagerly await responses because I am not one to give advice. Yesterday, literally on the heels of my posting on another thread that we have to remember all the things they have done so we don't get sucked into their vortex again, the doorbell rang and my difficult child was at the door, in full backpacking gear and covered head to toe in dirt. As a bit of back history, last week I dropped off a letter to him in detox telling him about our pain and disappointment that he had relapsed after 5 months of sobriety and even accelerated his drug use. I knew he had left detox but did not know the details. Where he went was leaving detox the day he got my letter, couch surfing with a friend for 4 days, spending most of his remaining money on some 4 Loco Tuesday night and impulsively sneaking over here to get his backpacking gear out of the shed, driving his car far back into the woods with the plan that he would hide his car and hike around the country, getting the car buried up to the axles in soft sand on a power access road in the middle of nowhere, THEN remembering he did not take any food or water and forgot to make the payment on his cell phone so he lost service. That's when he hiked the 8 miles to Walmart, spent his last $7 on Pop Tarts and water, camped in the woods behind Walmart, and hiked the 5 miles to my house yesterday. Yeah. I swore I would never let this kid spend another night in my house and I would never again shield him from the consequences of his bad choices. Yet I spent my evening helping jack and dig the car out, making him dinner, and helping him figure out his next move. And it's 10 AM and he's asleep upstairs. So I don't know. I just don't know how we follow through. I guess I will go roust him now and tell him it's time to go follow up on that plan he decided on last night and hope somehow one or both of us learned something from this little adventure. I'm starting to think all we can do is try to follow through, realize it won't happen every time, learn, and move on to the next time. We crave certainty, but there is no such thing, especially in the world of a difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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