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<blockquote data-quote="ski10" data-source="post: 425275" data-attributes="member: 11845"><p>There was me blabbing on and didn't know the circumstances, at the back of mind I was thinking though maybe it was not a healthy situation with the bio family to begin with.</p><p> </p><p>I wish someone had actually been able to stop me from searching, it did so much harm, my bio mother had 2 children before me who she kept, then went onto have 4 more after me, for a very brief time I was in contact with an older 1/2 sister, the things she told me about the mother when they were growing up, they were all negleted, she went on to marry a very abusive man who also abused all the kids and the mother sided with him, yet she still has some kind of hold over all the siblings, if she says jump, they had better do it, I feel it was a blessing she gave me up for adoption.</p><p> </p><p>I think the original OP can only be there for her kids, as said don't shut any doors, so difficult and I'm sure it were me as their mom I'd be wanting them to never ever find their bio family, to protect them with all my being, but if they wanted to search I would tell them myself what the situation was, or as much as I was able to tell, so they can be prepared, I'd have wanted that.</p><p> </p><p> From me being the adoptee I can tell you we know who our moms are, the one who took care of us and loved us, the one who brought us up. Many hugs...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ski10, post: 425275, member: 11845"] There was me blabbing on and didn't know the circumstances, at the back of mind I was thinking though maybe it was not a healthy situation with the bio family to begin with. I wish someone had actually been able to stop me from searching, it did so much harm, my bio mother had 2 children before me who she kept, then went onto have 4 more after me, for a very brief time I was in contact with an older 1/2 sister, the things she told me about the mother when they were growing up, they were all negleted, she went on to marry a very abusive man who also abused all the kids and the mother sided with him, yet she still has some kind of hold over all the siblings, if she says jump, they had better do it, I feel it was a blessing she gave me up for adoption. I think the original OP can only be there for her kids, as said don't shut any doors, so difficult and I'm sure it were me as their mom I'd be wanting them to never ever find their bio family, to protect them with all my being, but if they wanted to search I would tell them myself what the situation was, or as much as I was able to tell, so they can be prepared, I'd have wanted that. From me being the adoptee I can tell you we know who our moms are, the one who took care of us and loved us, the one who brought us up. Many hugs... [/QUOTE]
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