husband: "Take your pill."
difficult child: "I want cereal."
husband (or you): "As soon as you take your pill, I'm happy to get you some cereal."
I would try something like this
While you take your pill, I will be happy to get you some cereal.
I don't want my statement to be conditional , a source of conflict , something that gets in the way of the real reason for taking a pill or eating cereal.
Consistency is important when using behavior mod , a rat gets confused when he is rewarded/ punished inconsistently.
Gordon Thomas - author of Parent Effective Training describes as a perfevtably normal and effective negotiation or problem solving strategy , when the second parent steps in. husband does not have the emotional baggage or the disadvantage of being in a conflict , he comes in independently and is in a better position to make progress . If a second negotiator gives in on a certain issue , it does not undermine the ist negiotiator. If one sees the kid as the enemy , I can understand why a united front, the parents against the kid is so important
Terry , in my humble opinion your husband is not clueless .
I hope things get easier
Allan
