Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Last night was awful
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 236713" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Of course. Post all you like. </p><p> </p><p>{{hugs}}</p><p> </p><p>Star is right. Someone has got to start the ball rolling. No matter how angry you are, you know you will be the one, because you are strong. You can stop the yelling and you can stand strong and calm at the next mtng and be proud to say you did a great job this week. </p><p>It will be one of the hardest things you have ever done. But you know it's not solving things right now so it will be a good change.</p><p>Your husband is (excuse me for saying this, I'm just going off of what you typed) immature, irresponsible and hurting. You've got to lead the way.</p><p>Eventually, he will turn around.</p><p>I'm guessing he will, or you wouldn't have married him to begin with. There have to be some good qualities that are latent in there somewhere.</p><p>The therapist sounds like he needs to be more firm. Sigh. </p><p> </p><p>I've been through this. </p><p>One thing we did was learn to repeat what the other person said, to make sure we understood it. It's a form of parrotting. It makes you feel like an idiot but it usually works. husband hates it because he thinks I'm making fun of him or that I'm not listening, like I'm a slow child. "So, what you're saying is that I yell too much."</p><p>"Of COURSE you yell too much! Why can't you hear what I'm saying!?"</p><p>(Uh, I thought I just did that ... )</p><p>It's supposed to be a form of active listening.</p><p>Clearly, when your husband is making faces at you, it is NOT active listening.</p><p> </p><p>I am so glad you are seeing a therapist. It will really help. At first it seems to open raw wounds and make it worse, but if you two really work on it, it will help. </p><p> </p><p>One thing I do is roll my eyes. Bad habit. Got to stop that. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>I'll keep checking here to see if you're back. </p><p>Keep breathing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 236713, member: 3419"] Of course. Post all you like. {{hugs}} Star is right. Someone has got to start the ball rolling. No matter how angry you are, you know you will be the one, because you are strong. You can stop the yelling and you can stand strong and calm at the next mtng and be proud to say you did a great job this week. It will be one of the hardest things you have ever done. But you know it's not solving things right now so it will be a good change. Your husband is (excuse me for saying this, I'm just going off of what you typed) immature, irresponsible and hurting. You've got to lead the way. Eventually, he will turn around. I'm guessing he will, or you wouldn't have married him to begin with. There have to be some good qualities that are latent in there somewhere. The therapist sounds like he needs to be more firm. Sigh. I've been through this. One thing we did was learn to repeat what the other person said, to make sure we understood it. It's a form of parrotting. It makes you feel like an idiot but it usually works. husband hates it because he thinks I'm making fun of him or that I'm not listening, like I'm a slow child. "So, what you're saying is that I yell too much." "Of COURSE you yell too much! Why can't you hear what I'm saying!?" (Uh, I thought I just did that ... ) It's supposed to be a form of active listening. Clearly, when your husband is making faces at you, it is NOT active listening. I am so glad you are seeing a therapist. It will really help. At first it seems to open raw wounds and make it worse, but if you two really work on it, it will help. One thing I do is roll my eyes. Bad habit. Got to stop that. ;) I'll keep checking here to see if you're back. Keep breathing. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Last night was awful
Top