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Last night was awful
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 236811" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Counseling should get easier as you go along. My husband didn't really participate he just tried to choose up sides like a kid playing a neighborhood game of ball. He wanted to stack the game in his favor and I just kept quiet for a while at first until I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I dropped a bomb. The counsellor was amazed and happy that I had spoken up and given him a more clear picture of the dynamics of my marriage. husband was very mad at me he. He barely spoke to me on the way home. When he did he asked me why I told the therapist what I had. I replied because I wanted him to know the whole truth so he could help us. husband only went back two more times. That action spoke volumes to both me and the therapist. husband was not going to change. So I went and the therapist taught me ways to get what I need within the framework of the marriage. Emotional intimacy isn't something husband can give so I have my best friend, my sisters, and my daughter for that. I learned to hire out or trade services for things such as babysitting and gardening and alike when husband refuses to do his share around the house. The list goes on but that isn't important.</p><p></p><p>My point is that each couple has different expectations, needs, and compromises they are willing to make. Your therapist should help you and your husband sort all that out and find compromises both of you can live with. He will also help you both identify "the deal breakers" that will determine the fate of your marriage. Ultimately his job is to guide you both to a happier way of life which does not necessarily mean preserving the marriage.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 236811, member: 2315"] Counseling should get easier as you go along. My husband didn't really participate he just tried to choose up sides like a kid playing a neighborhood game of ball. He wanted to stack the game in his favor and I just kept quiet for a while at first until I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I dropped a bomb. The counsellor was amazed and happy that I had spoken up and given him a more clear picture of the dynamics of my marriage. husband was very mad at me he. He barely spoke to me on the way home. When he did he asked me why I told the therapist what I had. I replied because I wanted him to know the whole truth so he could help us. husband only went back two more times. That action spoke volumes to both me and the therapist. husband was not going to change. So I went and the therapist taught me ways to get what I need within the framework of the marriage. Emotional intimacy isn't something husband can give so I have my best friend, my sisters, and my daughter for that. I learned to hire out or trade services for things such as babysitting and gardening and alike when husband refuses to do his share around the house. The list goes on but that isn't important. My point is that each couple has different expectations, needs, and compromises they are willing to make. Your therapist should help you and your husband sort all that out and find compromises both of you can live with. He will also help you both identify "the deal breakers" that will determine the fate of your marriage. Ultimately his job is to guide you both to a happier way of life which does not necessarily mean preserving the marriage. [/QUOTE]
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