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Laws of Nature
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 177860" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p><strong>Law of the Workshop</strong>:</p><p>Any tool, when dropped, will hit your toe or roll to the least accessible corner. Or both.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Probability:</strong></p><p>The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of the Telephone:</strong></p><p>If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of the Alibi:</strong></p><p>If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.</p><p></p><p><strong>Variation Law:</strong></p><p>If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of the Bath:</strong></p><p>When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.</p><p> <strong></strong></p><p><strong>Law of Close Encounters:</strong></p><p>The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of the Result:</strong></p><p>When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will, and vice-versa.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Biomechanics:</strong></p><p>The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of the Theatre:</strong></p><p>At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Coffee:</strong></p><p>As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.</p><p></p><p><strong>Murphy's Law of Lockers:</strong></p><p>If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Rugs/Carpets:</strong></p><p>The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.</p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Location:</strong></p><p>No matter where you go, there you are.</p><p></p><p><strong>Brown's Law:</strong></p><p>If the shoe fits, it's ugly.</p><p></p><p><strong>Oliver's Law:</strong></p><p>A closed mouth gathers no feet.</p><p></p><p><strong>Wilson's Law: </strong></p><p>As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.</p><p></p><p></p><p><em><strong>And, my favorite:</strong></em></p><p></p><p><strong>Law of Logical Argument:</strong></p><p>Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 177860, member: 3485"] [B]Law of the Workshop[/B]: Any tool, when dropped, will hit your toe or roll to the least accessible corner. Or both. [B]Law of Probability:[/B] The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. [B]Law of the Telephone:[/B] If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. [B]Law of the Alibi:[/B] If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. [B]Variation Law:[/B] If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. [B]Law of the Bath:[/B] When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. [B] Law of Close Encounters:[/B] The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. [B]Law of the Result:[/B] When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will, and vice-versa. [B]Law of Biomechanics:[/B] The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. [B]Law of the Theatre:[/B] At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. [B]Law of Coffee:[/B] As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. [B]Murphy's Law of Lockers:[/B] If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. [B]Law of Rugs/Carpets:[/B] The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. [B]Law of Location:[/B] No matter where you go, there you are. [B]Brown's Law:[/B] If the shoe fits, it's ugly. [B]Oliver's Law:[/B] A closed mouth gathers no feet. [B]Wilson's Law: [/B] As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. [I][B]And, my favorite:[/B][/I] [B]Law of Logical Argument:[/B] Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. [/QUOTE]
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