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Substance Abuse
Learning from my childhood to my difficult child's
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 531922"><p>I am so sorry you are going through this. And -- yes -- at 16 your son is too young to let go. You are much more advanced in Alanon than I, but for me; I think letting go and detaching is a last step; not a first.</p><p></p><p>I know too well the tendency to freeze. You want to chalk it up to normal teenage behavior and wish you didn't know about it all. And when there is a history of addiction in the family - it is likely that your son's "normal" experimentation triggered genetic/metabolic reactions that quickly turned into addiction/abuse. That's how it was explained to me about my own son. And that makes it harder for our kids - because they don't understand why so and so can use and "just" be a partier while they they can't. And they want so much to "just be a partier" and we know better. And that makes it hard on them.</p><p></p><p>At 16, you have a very short window of time to MAKE him get help. And I think you need to exhaust all possibilities before he turns 18 and is completely out of your jurisdiction. I would call his doctor and ask for advice. Find out your local resources and seriously consider rehab and counseling. I think you need to move boldly and swiftly to get him as much help as possible while it's still in your realm. The time may come when you must detach - but that time isn't now.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you found our little corner of the world - this board - but I am sorry you are hurting so. Please keep posting and know you have found friends who understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 531922"] I am so sorry you are going through this. And -- yes -- at 16 your son is too young to let go. You are much more advanced in Alanon than I, but for me; I think letting go and detaching is a last step; not a first. I know too well the tendency to freeze. You want to chalk it up to normal teenage behavior and wish you didn't know about it all. And when there is a history of addiction in the family - it is likely that your son's "normal" experimentation triggered genetic/metabolic reactions that quickly turned into addiction/abuse. That's how it was explained to me about my own son. And that makes it harder for our kids - because they don't understand why so and so can use and "just" be a partier while they they can't. And they want so much to "just be a partier" and we know better. And that makes it hard on them. At 16, you have a very short window of time to MAKE him get help. And I think you need to exhaust all possibilities before he turns 18 and is completely out of your jurisdiction. I would call his doctor and ask for advice. Find out your local resources and seriously consider rehab and counseling. I think you need to move boldly and swiftly to get him as much help as possible while it's still in your realm. The time may come when you must detach - but that time isn't now. I am glad you found our little corner of the world - this board - but I am sorry you are hurting so. Please keep posting and know you have found friends who understand. [/QUOTE]
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Learning from my childhood to my difficult child's
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