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General Parenting
Let down my guard
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 243728" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>I believe in natural and logical consequences, but the situation determines which type to use. A natural consequences is one that follows without you as the parent having to impose it. For example, your difficult child is cold because he refuses to wear his winter jacket. Next time (maybe!) he will wear his jacket or face the same natural consequence of being cold.</p><p> </p><p>A logical consequence is one imposed by the parent that is related to the misbehavior. These consequences are usually talked over and understand before the misbehavior occurs. For example, if your difficult child continually misses the bus, then the logical consequence is for him to have to call and pay for a taxi or pay mom or dad "taxi fare" to drive him to school. This teaches him a real-life consequence of missing the bus. To my way of thinking, taking away a cell phone teaches your difficult child no real lesson about missing the bus. </p><p> </p><p>With both types of consequences, there is no lecturing or "told you so's" about the misbehavior (and hopefully fewer explosions by parent and child). The consequences simply occur as a matter of course.</p><p></p><p>If your difficult child has a disorder that has not been identified and treated and meltdowns are occurring all the time, consequences frequently don't work. In this case, you are better off using the Collaborative Problem Solving techniques outlined in The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 243728, member: 2423"] I believe in natural and logical consequences, but the situation determines which type to use. A natural consequences is one that follows without you as the parent having to impose it. For example, your difficult child is cold because he refuses to wear his winter jacket. Next time (maybe!) he will wear his jacket or face the same natural consequence of being cold. A logical consequence is one imposed by the parent that is related to the misbehavior. These consequences are usually talked over and understand before the misbehavior occurs. For example, if your difficult child continually misses the bus, then the logical consequence is for him to have to call and pay for a taxi or pay mom or dad "taxi fare" to drive him to school. This teaches him a real-life consequence of missing the bus. To my way of thinking, taking away a cell phone teaches your difficult child no real lesson about missing the bus. With both types of consequences, there is no lecturing or "told you so's" about the misbehavior (and hopefully fewer explosions by parent and child). The consequences simply occur as a matter of course. If your difficult child has a disorder that has not been identified and treated and meltdowns are occurring all the time, consequences frequently don't work. In this case, you are better off using the Collaborative Problem Solving techniques outlined in The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. [/QUOTE]
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