Lately J has had some real problems and making some not great choices. I have a bit of a dilemma. Before Christmas I found a great deal on an mp3 player - brand name 16gb, $40. Cannot get much better. I couldn't get the site to work so we got other things for the kids. After xmas I again found them on the website at that price (they had gone up in price and then come back down dramatically). I bought 3 of them. One each for husband, J and T but J and T had to pay half of theirs. I didn't order one for myself because I don't often use headphones as they can be irritating. Over the next few days, it dawned on me that J slid back to showing NO respect to me or my things or nice things we buy for her. One thing brought this home to me really hard. I got a chi travel size 1" wide hair straightener at the ReStore for ten dollars. It was brand new. It was a gift to both J and I to be shared. She saw it before xmas because I was looking at it ad she fell and I went running to her with it in my hand. I let her take it to use a few days before xmas. She put it down somewhere when she realized we have no outlets in the bathroom. she did not return it or even put it somewhere logical. She put it on the floor under a pile of clothes she just dumped there. I accidentally stepped on it and destroyed it. I never even got to try to use it. I don't so much care about flat irons. I don't really do much with my hair anyway. I wanted it because it is something we could share and if it was both of ours maybe she would take care of it. Clearly I was mistaken. A really BIG part of the issue for me is that if it is mine she is rough on it, will take it to go 'look' at it an I never see it again or it is damaged/destroyed when I do see it. She isn't nearly that way with others' things. I am not sure that giving her this mp3 player is smart. she loses a lot of them. AFTER the flat iron thing, she had to do comm svc and it is just unlivably boring to do it with-o music so she just took mine. Mine was super cheap and you have to put an sd card in because it has no memory. i wasn't home and she was 'sure' that I wouldn't mind. These are just two of more than a few things we have had happen. I now believe it would be idiotic for her to have a chance to pay half price for this mp3 player. My husband won't argue wth me, but he often thinks I am 'over-reacting' when I suggest this type of thing. As she never did find her mp3 player (no shock there as she left it at the Y), I would let her USE my old one and my sd card but not let her have the new mp3 player. Is not letting her have the new mp3 player that we pay half and she pays half for the right way to go? My gut says yes, but husband thinks that she should have another chance. I think she can have the one of mine she took and has kept or she can have his old 2 gb one that has lasted three years for him.