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Let me Pick Your Brains About This...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 413860" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>I am with your husband on this one with the no stone unturned-you never know when you will come across one person who can actually help. You know behavior charts are not going to do squat (been there done that). Can so relate to want to throw in the towel but you just can't. School always seemed like an effort in futility with my difficult child - he hated it. Went from regular school, to alternative school, to Independent Study where he would turn his work in two days a week and I sat there, in one of those tiny desks cause he was too freaked out to go in himself, to the school sending in tutors, to him going to a theraputic day school (they would transport but I had to take him because he wasn't getting picked up in that yellow tard bus) My mission was to shove as much education as I could into his head, the schools mission was to fight me every step of the way. From 9th grade onward, this was my life (and you can count incarceration school quite a few times) And, he quit at 18. My job was over, and I thought I had lost the fight. But a year later, he went for his GED (maybe mon WAS right about needing that) and aced it - turned out he did absorb something.</p><p> </p><p>And when the justice system got involved, omg, another nightmare because mental health issues are not recognized. More battles to fight on someones behalf that you don't even have custody over now. Constantly going back to court getting orders for medication that was given to him on a half @@@'d basis. Dealing with the gammit of PO's that were either totally useless or "got it" that they were dealing with someone who was at times out in left field. All of my fighting did get him into a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but because it was thru the justice system, was punitive based. Had PO's who were a now show for 5 months, then got one who didn't believe in mental health issues, made up things that happened so she could get him transferred to a boot camp facility for 6 months to "teach" him impulse control. It was a brutal place, and of course, no medications. Inept public defenders, I could go on and on what you have to deal with once they are in the system. Really, if you think the fight is rough now, you have no idea. </p><p> </p><p>At 18 I wished mine Happy Birthday and he was now on his own - my fight for him was over for the most part. He went and got himself arrested a few times, and the lightbulb finally went on that it just wasn't worth it doing crazy stuff and ending up in jail. </p><p> </p><p>I would write a letter to the MH supervisior, over and above the people you have to deal with, outlining the problems they have ignored and hid and put them on notice if the stuff hits the proverbal fan, they will be held accountable. I would also send a copy to your local state representative asking for help. Let them send in the behavior/parenting crew - chances are she will not be able to hold it together after the first visit, and it will dawn on them that your difficult child needs more than what they are offering.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck DF - it a long hard road but will be worth it. Looking back, the only thing I would change is getting intervention earlier than I did had I known what I was dealing with. </p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 413860, member: 47"] I am with your husband on this one with the no stone unturned-you never know when you will come across one person who can actually help. You know behavior charts are not going to do squat (been there done that). Can so relate to want to throw in the towel but you just can't. School always seemed like an effort in futility with my difficult child - he hated it. Went from regular school, to alternative school, to Independent Study where he would turn his work in two days a week and I sat there, in one of those tiny desks cause he was too freaked out to go in himself, to the school sending in tutors, to him going to a theraputic day school (they would transport but I had to take him because he wasn't getting picked up in that yellow tard bus) My mission was to shove as much education as I could into his head, the schools mission was to fight me every step of the way. From 9th grade onward, this was my life (and you can count incarceration school quite a few times) And, he quit at 18. My job was over, and I thought I had lost the fight. But a year later, he went for his GED (maybe mon WAS right about needing that) and aced it - turned out he did absorb something. And when the justice system got involved, omg, another nightmare because mental health issues are not recognized. More battles to fight on someones behalf that you don't even have custody over now. Constantly going back to court getting orders for medication that was given to him on a half @@@'d basis. Dealing with the gammit of PO's that were either totally useless or "got it" that they were dealing with someone who was at times out in left field. All of my fighting did get him into a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but because it was thru the justice system, was punitive based. Had PO's who were a now show for 5 months, then got one who didn't believe in mental health issues, made up things that happened so she could get him transferred to a boot camp facility for 6 months to "teach" him impulse control. It was a brutal place, and of course, no medications. Inept public defenders, I could go on and on what you have to deal with once they are in the system. Really, if you think the fight is rough now, you have no idea. At 18 I wished mine Happy Birthday and he was now on his own - my fight for him was over for the most part. He went and got himself arrested a few times, and the lightbulb finally went on that it just wasn't worth it doing crazy stuff and ending up in jail. I would write a letter to the MH supervisior, over and above the people you have to deal with, outlining the problems they have ignored and hid and put them on notice if the stuff hits the proverbal fan, they will be held accountable. I would also send a copy to your local state representative asking for help. Let them send in the behavior/parenting crew - chances are she will not be able to hold it together after the first visit, and it will dawn on them that your difficult child needs more than what they are offering. Good luck DF - it a long hard road but will be worth it. Looking back, the only thing I would change is getting intervention earlier than I did had I known what I was dealing with. Marcie [/QUOTE]
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