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Parent Emeritus
Let's discuss homelessness and it what it means to our difficult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 632195" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It seems to me that the kids are drawn to, seem almost to be fascinated by, the idea of "making it on the streets". Just like it is for us when we learn to face up to our fears for them and let go, when we learn how to not be held hostage to love or guilt or fear or hope...the kids seem to be choosing homeless.</p><p></p><p>Ours is a wealthy and generous and charitable society. Once our kids are actually living on the streets, we learn there are shelters, soup kitchens, medical care, people to check on and counsel them, and a community of people in similar positions. </p><p></p><p>And at long last, because they are already homeless, because they have nothing to lose and nothing to protect, they can do as much alcohol, or as many drugs, as they can get money for. </p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter would not like to be homeless again, but she is proud to have survived it. </p><p></p><p>I think homeless in America is not the nightmare it seems to be to the parent. The money we sent difficult child out of fear she would be penniless went for drugs and alcohol. Because she had something in that culture where no one had anything, she was, so she told us, beat for that very money we were sending to help her.</p><p></p><p>She overdosed and woke up in Intensive Care more than once. Again, that was the money we were giving her every week that made that possible.</p><p></p><p>We truly believed, the whole time, that difficult child was using that money for food, soap, toothpaste and etc. That money was a comfort to us. difficult child would not come home and it was all we could do for her. It was the most frightening, powerless feeling. Now, we know better. </p><p></p><p>Here is a funny thing: When difficult child daughter was homeless, I called or emailed the street outreach program here so many times for things I wanted for difficult child that the legitimacy of her homelessness was called into question. </p><p></p><p>Can you say "helicopter parent"?</p><p></p><p>Even difficult child was like, "Mom. What are you doing."</p><p></p><p>:0)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 632195, member: 17461"] It seems to me that the kids are drawn to, seem almost to be fascinated by, the idea of "making it on the streets". Just like it is for us when we learn to face up to our fears for them and let go, when we learn how to not be held hostage to love or guilt or fear or hope...the kids seem to be choosing homeless. Ours is a wealthy and generous and charitable society. Once our kids are actually living on the streets, we learn there are shelters, soup kitchens, medical care, people to check on and counsel them, and a community of people in similar positions. And at long last, because they are already homeless, because they have nothing to lose and nothing to protect, they can do as much alcohol, or as many drugs, as they can get money for. difficult child daughter would not like to be homeless again, but she is proud to have survived it. I think homeless in America is not the nightmare it seems to be to the parent. The money we sent difficult child out of fear she would be penniless went for drugs and alcohol. Because she had something in that culture where no one had anything, she was, so she told us, beat for that very money we were sending to help her. She overdosed and woke up in Intensive Care more than once. Again, that was the money we were giving her every week that made that possible. We truly believed, the whole time, that difficult child was using that money for food, soap, toothpaste and etc. That money was a comfort to us. difficult child would not come home and it was all we could do for her. It was the most frightening, powerless feeling. Now, we know better. Here is a funny thing: When difficult child daughter was homeless, I called or emailed the street outreach program here so many times for things I wanted for difficult child that the legitimacy of her homelessness was called into question. Can you say "helicopter parent"? Even difficult child was like, "Mom. What are you doing." :0) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Let's discuss homelessness and it what it means to our difficult children
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