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Letter to difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629648" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>part two contd.</p><p></p><p>I still haven't heard from my family of origin, including my sister. I emailed them Wednesday night to say difficult child is out of jail, and that's all I know. SO said this---and it may be true---they have been very supportive of you and your decisions but they may not truly agree with your position on difficult child so they are maintaining some distance themselves. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I am sure, if you have no program and no real experience with this, that is hard to hear of a mother doing all of this that I am doing and have been doing, and then to see difficult child continuing to do the same and worse. On the surface, to others, it looks like the immediate family is doing the wrong thing. </p><p></p><p></p><p>So, I am just letting time take its time with my family. It hurts me that my sister could not even have responded via email to me to say SOMETHING. And that there has been no communication from my mother, my father and my brother. </p><p></p><p></p><p>But right now, I am not going to reach out to them because I am still reeling and I need to regain myself before I can cope with other people and their "stuff", whatever it is. I would not respond well. I know that. So I am just keeping my own counsel with that right now, and it is getting easier. I wanted to force a showdown with my sister desperately on Wednesday night and all day Thursday but I knew and I know that I was mainly putting my own tremendous sense of helplessness onto that situation so I could control SOMETHING. So I didn't do it. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I slept okay last night---woke up multiple times, but immediately said, God, I give him to you. You take him. I can't. Please put your arms around him and keep him safe. I visualized that, and then I went back to sleep. That sounds overly simplistic and I don't know how it worked, but it did. I need sleep right now in order to keep moving forward.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you for bearing witness to me over these days, especially these days. I am trying to be fully present with myself during this time and to somehow learn from this. I am very grateful for your presence, your warmth, your care and concern.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629648, member: 17542"] part two contd. I still haven't heard from my family of origin, including my sister. I emailed them Wednesday night to say difficult child is out of jail, and that's all I know. SO said this---and it may be true---they have been very supportive of you and your decisions but they may not truly agree with your position on difficult child so they are maintaining some distance themselves. I am sure, if you have no program and no real experience with this, that is hard to hear of a mother doing all of this that I am doing and have been doing, and then to see difficult child continuing to do the same and worse. On the surface, to others, it looks like the immediate family is doing the wrong thing. So, I am just letting time take its time with my family. It hurts me that my sister could not even have responded via email to me to say SOMETHING. And that there has been no communication from my mother, my father and my brother. But right now, I am not going to reach out to them because I am still reeling and I need to regain myself before I can cope with other people and their "stuff", whatever it is. I would not respond well. I know that. So I am just keeping my own counsel with that right now, and it is getting easier. I wanted to force a showdown with my sister desperately on Wednesday night and all day Thursday but I knew and I know that I was mainly putting my own tremendous sense of helplessness onto that situation so I could control SOMETHING. So I didn't do it. I slept okay last night---woke up multiple times, but immediately said, God, I give him to you. You take him. I can't. Please put your arms around him and keep him safe. I visualized that, and then I went back to sleep. That sounds overly simplistic and I don't know how it worked, but it did. I need sleep right now in order to keep moving forward. Thank you for bearing witness to me over these days, especially these days. I am trying to be fully present with myself during this time and to somehow learn from this. I am very grateful for your presence, your warmth, your care and concern. [/QUOTE]
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