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Letter to difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 630008" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>Hello COM- this is Backinthesaddle (BITS)...I've been quiet for quite a while, trying to find a 'way' for myself in all this pain and loss, but reading on a regular basis...you've helped me in the past so I wanted to reach out to you now to reassure you that all the work you've done isn't lost...it's still there..it's just easier sometimes to revert back to the former 'Mom's we were because our child is right there in front of us, and what else are we supposed to do? I've been reading any book I can find and am really appreciating one called "When Parents Hurt" by Coleman...it's about our situations and something I highlighted in it last night seemed like someting that might remind you or how far you have come and that you may have taken a few steps back but it'll be so much easier this time to move a little forward--</p><p> </p><p><em>"I have seen the most grounded and healthy of my friends completely undone when faced with their children's ongoing disdain. They find themselves locked into a relationship where the daily message is that there is something really, really screwed up about them. While some parents are able to parry these assaults with relatively little injury, many parents feel bloodied and bruised by the battle."</em></p><p> </p><p>Seeing your son, him in the same state of mind, was another battle and I'm so sorry he's still in the same place of not wanting to take responsibility for himself. But you can get past this....and I have faith that you will!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 630008, member: 17503"] Hello COM- this is Backinthesaddle (BITS)...I've been quiet for quite a while, trying to find a 'way' for myself in all this pain and loss, but reading on a regular basis...you've helped me in the past so I wanted to reach out to you now to reassure you that all the work you've done isn't lost...it's still there..it's just easier sometimes to revert back to the former 'Mom's we were because our child is right there in front of us, and what else are we supposed to do? I've been reading any book I can find and am really appreciating one called "When Parents Hurt" by Coleman...it's about our situations and something I highlighted in it last night seemed like someting that might remind you or how far you have come and that you may have taken a few steps back but it'll be so much easier this time to move a little forward-- [I]"I have seen the most grounded and healthy of my friends completely undone when faced with their children's ongoing disdain. They find themselves locked into a relationship where the daily message is that there is something really, really screwed up about them. While some parents are able to parry these assaults with relatively little injury, many parents feel bloodied and bruised by the battle."[/I] Seeing your son, him in the same state of mind, was another battle and I'm so sorry he's still in the same place of not wanting to take responsibility for himself. But you can get past this....and I have faith that you will! [/QUOTE]
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Letter to difficult child
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