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Letting go: I seem to be unable to do this.
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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 739476" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>Copa, </p><p>As I've said before we are in the same timeline as far as our latest out-falling. I just returned from lunch with my son. If you will remember the last time I met him about 3 weeks ago he was blaming his father and I in conjunction for not leaving his father for his problems. This time it is his friends, his ex-friends that have not helped him. I tried to depart some wisdom on the subject, ie being his choice of friends and expecting too much of dysfunctional people, but the hurt, anger is still there. It just keeps floating around to other targets as the need arises. </p><p></p><p>He expressed a desire to leave town, to start anew. Asked me about living with his uncle. I tried to elucidate the process: driving for 10 hours alone, sleeping on an air mattress, finding a job, paying rent and following rules. How he would probably only get a restaurant job and would find his old friends right there waiting for him - with different names. Unless there is a sea change, this experiment would - at best - result in him driving 11 hours back to no home at all. Or living on streets somewhere between - truly lost in a sea of uncaring people. </p><p></p><p>And the realization Copa - that this discourse would have given me hope a couple of years ago, but now only feels me with fear and dread. That there is no real change. That this 'higher self' that our sons wish to attain is not actually a 'higher self' at all. Just wishful thoughts and a road to hell paved with them. </p><p></p><p>Sorry no advice but I'm here with you sitting in the same spot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 739476, member: 16761"] Copa, As I've said before we are in the same timeline as far as our latest out-falling. I just returned from lunch with my son. If you will remember the last time I met him about 3 weeks ago he was blaming his father and I in conjunction for not leaving his father for his problems. This time it is his friends, his ex-friends that have not helped him. I tried to depart some wisdom on the subject, ie being his choice of friends and expecting too much of dysfunctional people, but the hurt, anger is still there. It just keeps floating around to other targets as the need arises. He expressed a desire to leave town, to start anew. Asked me about living with his uncle. I tried to elucidate the process: driving for 10 hours alone, sleeping on an air mattress, finding a job, paying rent and following rules. How he would probably only get a restaurant job and would find his old friends right there waiting for him - with different names. Unless there is a sea change, this experiment would - at best - result in him driving 11 hours back to no home at all. Or living on streets somewhere between - truly lost in a sea of uncaring people. And the realization Copa - that this discourse would have given me hope a couple of years ago, but now only feels me with fear and dread. That there is no real change. That this 'higher self' that our sons wish to attain is not actually a 'higher self' at all. Just wishful thoughts and a road to hell paved with them. Sorry no advice but I'm here with you sitting in the same spot. [/QUOTE]
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Letting go: I seem to be unable to do this.
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