Last Friday I busted my daughter in another lie. Years ago after she ripped me off thousands of dollars I decided to stop all payment on her college, she had to take a couple of private loans to get her degree. My name is NOT on these loans. Last week my text started to get bombarded plus my phone was ringing off the hook, the loan people were looking for her, she is 3 months late. I told them to take it up with my daughter yet they still call and text me. I asked her about the loan and she said it was a SCAM. So I confronted her with the information that I had gathered. In the past I would scream at her at the top of my lungs, for her to stop being so financially irresponsible and pay her bills. This time I took a deep breath, and calmly said to her 'You need to pay your college loan or they will come and garnish your wages at your work. Part of my calm is that my name is not on there and the other reason I was calm is that earlier I went over to my deceased friends home and her husband gave me some of her ashes and some of her belongings, I was in no mood for further nonsense. I collected some things from my deceased friend that I thought my daughter would like and gave them to my daughter. I had some nice Valentine decorations that I gave to my daughter and when I went to the store I bought her some speciality cheese that she loves. I thought to myself, do I feel better, stupid, or what, being lied to and then showering her with love and gifts. I felt mixed up, sad, mad, irritated, confused and what on earth am I doing. I can't help what my daughter says or does, I can only control what I do and say. Being kind and loving feels good and right to me. I think I feel better when I choose to ignore her when she is off track, it harms my soul to yell and scream at her and does no good anyway because she will do what she does. Detatching and seperating from her financially is the key, I thought that I only have the house that is tied financially with her but it seems her poor financial dealings find their way to me still. I asked her why she did not pay her bill, she said 'Well, I have the money' and I did not say anything after that because the conversation was so stupid I could not say anything more. I guess she likes to pay late fees and I guess she likes to get harrassed, why on earth would someone wait so long to pay their bills? The stupidness of that entire conversation had me in tears. I am just so sad. How can a person be so well educated with 2 degrees, on the high honor roll most of her life and such an idiot. How can a person that has studied finances and takes on going courses on finances be like that. I am taking a big breath and trying to let it go. If I asked myself how I feel it would be frustrated, confused, weird, and just plain deep down soul aching sad. I also feel frustrated, very frustrated that things are not running smoothly.. But now I feel better venting and knowing I can only control myself and my life.. My dear friends death and my daughters lies feels like bricks on my heart.