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Parent Emeritus
Lies, Lies, and More Lies, Can The Relationship Ever Be Salvaged?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 613230" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>My son has had an issue with lying for a long long time, way before his drug use..... of course with drug use the lies were constant and he did worse things.</p><p></p><p>I love my son and that is the basis of our relationship. I love him and I always will and for that reason, and probably that reason only I have a relationship with him. So I guess for me in this case love is the foundation of our relationship, not trust.</p><p></p><p>However I do think lack of trust severely limits the relationship. I basically have to take what he says with a grain of salt. I dont trust him and that is a big reason why we probably wont ever let him live with us again. I do not want to live with someone again I dont trust. </p><p></p><p>I have a easy child daughter who has never given me a reason not to trust her and our relationship is so much different. It makes me very sad that I dont have that kind of relationship with my son.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure that I will ever be able to trust him..... and at this point I have just accepted that as a reality. IT is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it.</p><p></p><p>So I agree with what others have said it may be you have to accept the reality and then act accordingly. I dont think not trusting your son means you cant have a relationship with him, but it does mean accepting the limits that lack of trust causes.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 613230, member: 15801"] My son has had an issue with lying for a long long time, way before his drug use..... of course with drug use the lies were constant and he did worse things. I love my son and that is the basis of our relationship. I love him and I always will and for that reason, and probably that reason only I have a relationship with him. So I guess for me in this case love is the foundation of our relationship, not trust. However I do think lack of trust severely limits the relationship. I basically have to take what he says with a grain of salt. I dont trust him and that is a big reason why we probably wont ever let him live with us again. I do not want to live with someone again I dont trust. I have a easy child daughter who has never given me a reason not to trust her and our relationship is so much different. It makes me very sad that I dont have that kind of relationship with my son. I am not sure that I will ever be able to trust him..... and at this point I have just accepted that as a reality. IT is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it. So I agree with what others have said it may be you have to accept the reality and then act accordingly. I dont think not trusting your son means you cant have a relationship with him, but it does mean accepting the limits that lack of trust causes. TL [/QUOTE]
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Lies, Lies, and More Lies, Can The Relationship Ever Be Salvaged?
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