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Life here is still not going well
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 525475" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Just because I'm in such a weird state of mind I'm going to share true examples of martial perceptions from my first marriage. This is ancient history but it does demonstrate differences in marriage. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>My first husband and I got married in college, had three children and divorced nine years, 364 days later. I tried to "fix" our union but in reality GFGmom was a huge issue and truthfully we were both different people at thirty than we were at twenty. In the process of trying to "fix" our lack of communication we went to a counselor as talking amongst ourselves was not working. We took turns speaking. I went first. I carefully and with stifled tears explained that we had a problem child and disagreed on punishment, rules, bedtime etc. and that had become the focus of our marriage.</p><p></p><p>When it was his turn this is what he said <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/916blusher.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":916blusher:" title="blushing :916blusher:" data-shortname=":916blusher:" />. My wife changes the sheets on Sunday and I like clean sheets on Friday and Saturday night. My wife almost never cleans up the kitchen right after we are thru eating and I don't like dirty dishes on the counter if I want a snack. LAST (omg, I can't believe I'm sharing this) "my wife and I don't have sex very often any more". The Counselor said "why is that true do you think?" TA DA! My husband said "My wife doesn't cover herself up after she showers and I've seen her so often she just doesn't turn me on much."</p><p></p><p>OK, guys. That's the story of the day. And yes...there is a point. Evidently clean sheets on Friday was important to him although I had no memory of hearing it before. The kitchen counter was important but I headed from the kitchen to getting the kids ready for bed. Sigh! At five six, 110 lbs and still considered a "looker"...I had no idea I should cover myself up from master bath to master bedroom.</p><p></p><p>Tony might want "his" chair cleared of papers, real dishes instead of disposable ones, his laundry put away on a daily basis, the kitchen counter clear.........or less nudity. There is "something" and probably a number of "somethings" that are small that might make life more peaceful. One thing I know from my experiences in life is that no husband wants to hear negative stuff...not about health, not about money, not even about kids. They want to live with Mary Poppins (fully clothed, of course). <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /> DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 525475, member: 35"] Just because I'm in such a weird state of mind I'm going to share true examples of martial perceptions from my first marriage. This is ancient history but it does demonstrate differences in marriage. Sigh. My first husband and I got married in college, had three children and divorced nine years, 364 days later. I tried to "fix" our union but in reality GFGmom was a huge issue and truthfully we were both different people at thirty than we were at twenty. In the process of trying to "fix" our lack of communication we went to a counselor as talking amongst ourselves was not working. We took turns speaking. I went first. I carefully and with stifled tears explained that we had a problem child and disagreed on punishment, rules, bedtime etc. and that had become the focus of our marriage. When it was his turn this is what he said :blusher:. My wife changes the sheets on Sunday and I like clean sheets on Friday and Saturday night. My wife almost never cleans up the kitchen right after we are thru eating and I don't like dirty dishes on the counter if I want a snack. LAST (omg, I can't believe I'm sharing this) "my wife and I don't have sex very often any more". The Counselor said "why is that true do you think?" TA DA! My husband said "My wife doesn't cover herself up after she showers and I've seen her so often she just doesn't turn me on much." OK, guys. That's the story of the day. And yes...there is a point. Evidently clean sheets on Friday was important to him although I had no memory of hearing it before. The kitchen counter was important but I headed from the kitchen to getting the kids ready for bed. Sigh! At five six, 110 lbs and still considered a "looker"...I had no idea I should cover myself up from master bath to master bedroom. Tony might want "his" chair cleared of papers, real dishes instead of disposable ones, his laundry put away on a daily basis, the kitchen counter clear.........or less nudity. There is "something" and probably a number of "somethings" that are small that might make life more peaceful. One thing I know from my experiences in life is that no husband wants to hear negative stuff...not about health, not about money, not even about kids. They want to live with Mary Poppins (fully clothed, of course). :bigsmile: DDD [/QUOTE]
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