Ok, ladies, I could use a bit of feedback and some opinions. As many of you know I've been going to school preparing to enter the RN program. The reason behind it is that 25+ yrs ago I did the LPN program and walked out with an A average 2 wks before graduation. (I've mentioned I used to be a difficult child, right? lol) Completing the RN program was to finish something that I'd started all those years ago. Simple. Straightforward. Now............ From the time I was just 12 years old and the show Emergency was on tv, I've dreamed of being a paramedic. This was decades before paramedics were common place. All these years later, the desire has never wavered. It would be my dream job. So why haven't I just done that? Well.........there is my age. At 44 I'm no spring chicken. And I do know some places around here won't hired someone that old no matter their training or how good they are. Actually 5 yrs ago I applied to the program and was eagerly accepted by the Director. But had to back out because at the time my ride bailed on me and I didn't have transportation. It is always playing in the back of my mind. Always. Nichole keeps telling me the reason she wants to be a paramedic is because of me. Several years ago we witnessed a horrible car accident. A guy in a small car T-boned a semi truck on the highway. Without a single thought I found myself at his side giving him what medical care I could. It stunned me because it was something I did without concious thought. (and yes that's the weirdest feeling) It amazed my kids who watched the whole thing from our car. And that is why Nichole wants to be a paramedic. She wants to be like me. And that makes me so very sad. Because I never got to be what I really wanted to be. Any time I told someone of this dream I got poo pooed, even laughed at sometimes. Most especially as I grew older. I can do the program. I can make the grades. Heck, I've got almost all the classes completed for it except the main EMT classes already. And that accident showed me that everything I learned snaps to attention in an emergency and I suddenlly become this take charge sort of person that I am not normally. I will never forget that man I kept alive until careflight got there. His name was Pete. When I got run over by the truck and the medics were treating me.......In between screams of pain.......I was thinking.......They're doing that wrong.......they shouldn't take my b/p in my arm.......they shouldn't be putting an IV in my arm.......why aren't they stabilizing my arms?........and on and on. (both shoulders were severely injured and I had a skull fracture) Actually, I'd even begun arguing and telling them how it should be done. And this was going on along side the mental confusion from the head injury. Sad part of that is that I was very right. And then when Aubrey ate the poisoned flower last year and Nichole brought me a blue baby........Yep. All my training (although 20+ yrs old) snapped into overdrive and I took over. No thought. Just did it. by the way, it is really weird when that happens. Then last year I had to take the First Responder's course as part of the phlebotomy program. The instructor kept asking me if I wanted to be an EMT. She thought I'd make a darn good one. easy child thinks I'd be a d amned good paramedic. Nichole agrees with her sister. And I think so too. However, part of me says to finish what I started. It's important. The other part says Go for it. Then the practical side of me says that 44 is not exactly the prime age to start out as a paramedic. I've thought about the pros and cons. It's all I've thought about since being back in school. And it's that risk of not being able to find employment due to age that worries me. Although my First Responders instructor said it's not an issue at all. So? Do I chuck being practical? RN is easy employment, high pay. Do I grab the brass ring? Paramedic is all I've ever truely wanted to do, but might find it hard finding work and I'm not sure what it pays. (I've got to be able to support myself when I'm done guys) It shoudn't be this hard. Am I making it harder to decide than necessary? I'll admit, now that I'm ready to enter the RN program I don't have the least bit of excitement toward it. I'm beginning to dread it. Much the same way I dreaded the LPN program all those years ago. (that was my Mom's idea, I wanted to be a paramedic) Sigh. I'm wondering if that's why I keep freezing up on the entrance exam. Because I swear I know the material backward and forward. Nichole wants me to do it. Is begging me to do it. Keeps leaving the college program pamphlets under my nose along with the application ect. (I'm staring at it right now, she's placed another copy on my desk) And I admit when she's not looking, I keep looking at it. Wondering. The desire is still as strong as ever. Is there such a thing as being too practical minded?