Little difficult child Problem

[neednewtechnique]

I am having a problem, and I am not really sure how to address it without hurting my difficult child's feelings. See, she is having her "time of the month", which, this is the first time she has had it....ever. She hasn't even told me yet, I think she is either embarrased to tell me, or else she is afraid I won't let her go swimming if I find out, becuase she refuses to wear Tampons, and I told her if she went into the pool she would have to.

Anyway, that isn't really my problem right now...but see, I mentioned she hasn't told me, so how do I know, right???? I can, um, SMELL it, and so I did some investigating and found used pads in her bathroom trash can. I am worried about the odor, and I am not sure how to address this with her without hurting her feelings, as she is very sensitive...but I feel that I should tell her. And again, with her refusal to wear tampons, how do you correct that horrendous smell?????!!!!!! Is there some sort of deodorant spray for that area, I have heard that scented pads don't work as well as they say they do, but I never wore pads, so I don't really know where to go from here......

 

[meowbunny]

Maybe pretend you don't know but gently lead her into another one of those mother-daughter talks we all love so well. In this one, mention the early symptoms, how to discreetly mark a calendar so she can be "prepared" a day or two before she starts at night, how to wrap and dispose of pads so that the odor doesn't give offense. In other words, the practical aspects of being on her period, including why she can't swim in a pad. (Maybe a demonstration in the sink with kool-aid to show her how it will lead?)

 

[neednewtechnique]

The odor isn't offensive coming from the trash can, I was actually impressed when I found them that they were wrapped so well and disposed of so properly. The offensive odor is coming from her. I can smell it when she walks by, that's how strong it is. We have had the talks before, and she has never been embarrased about them before, so I would assume that she has chosen not to tell me because she is afraid I won't let her go swimming. But like I said, that part is workable, because she knows the rules, no swimming in a pad.

But if I can smell it when she walks by, I am worried about her going out somewhere and other people being able to smell it. There were girls in my class in school that had strong smelling menstrual blood, and people made fun of them BADLY, called them all kinds of names...thankfully she doesn't have school now because of summer break, but she still goes out in public!!!!!

 

[Hound dog]

If it were one of my girls I'd just sit them down and explain to them that I knew.

husband also bought each of my girls a single red rose to mark their transition to "womanhood". lol The girls thought it was really dorky at the time, but now recall it as just about the sweetest thing their Dad ever did for them.

This is pretty much a no win situation. I'd tell her, then explain about proper hygiene during this time of the month and why she shouldn't go swimming in a pool wearing a pad. There are deordorant sprays for this, but I'll warn you it can cause infection if used improperly or too often. You can find them with the douches and such. Usually good hygiene will get rid of the odor. On occasions when I had to wear pads I'd shower really well at night, then take a quick bath in the morning for an extra cleaning.

((hugs))

 

[neednewtechnique]

WOW!! I knew that Douches and stuff could be dangerous, but the deodorant sprays can give them an infection?!?! I will suggest the extra washing and stuff, I had already planned on mentioning to her that an extra shower for the week might not be a bad idea, but if that doesn't help with the odor during the day, I guess I will need to contact her regular doctor and see if she has anything she can give her to help.

 

[skeeter]

You may also need to suggest she change the pads more frequently. With the absorbancy of pads today, one doesn't NEED to change them, but that will help with the odor.
You could also explain that many women's body's just "smell" differently at that time, so frequent bathing and deodorant is a must.

I'm SO glad I had boys!!!

 

[timer lady]

Please consider buying the American Girl Library book - The Care & Keeping of Your Body Book for Girls for difficult child.

kt was very resistant to any talk of her cycles & her body. This book is an easy read. After kt read it she had many questions & we spent (still do) a great deal of time together discussing it.

by the way, tampons can be scary for young girls - this book explains it in great detail & in very good taste.

It's going to take a bit of time for your difficult child to be aware of this part of menstruation. Offer non judgmental guidance & have supplies on hand.

When kt was at her worst (smell wise) I invested in some of the fun scented body washes for her & she takes a couple of showers a day (though forgets the deodorant).

Good luck - not an easy time. :flower: