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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 425129" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>tl, </p><p> </p><p>It's a tough call. On one hand you don't want them to come home to live with you, you know they don't have any way to get 1st, last, security because they just can't seem to ever put back any money even if they did save everything they had - because that would almost mean living with you - and then there is utilities/deposits to manage, so the places they can afford are on THAT end of town, which leads to THAT kind of company - but sometimes I think we as parents may be a little too harsh to judge THAT kind of company. I just don't know. </p><p> </p><p>It may be that where they are isn't ideal in our minds, but for two kids starting out? It's okay. When Dude got where his BD was? I was trying to figure where he was going to stay knowing it wouldn't ever work with them lviing together, nor would it last with him staying with relatives - they aren't the accomodating sort. I was right on both counts. The area he was able to find lodging in was the absolute worst in the entire town. Then he was homeless and I was actually more relieved he was homeless than living where he was. (another rock and a hard place). Now since BD has gone to jail he's managed to take over that ramshackled place and split costs, but is moving or has moved - not sure. </p><p> </p><p>I hope it works out for your son & girlfriend. Just the fact that he has someone and she's not into drugs, and they want to come to dinner seems like a step in the right direction towards normal. I'm happy for him. I know it sounds like a cop out - but when Dude had a nice girl? His entire attitude changed; even for a while - he wanted to get a job, go to school, clean up his life. Even though his thoughts were all for her (wrong reasons) he WAS thinking about doing things for the first time for GOOD. And to me - it was baby steps in the right direction. They of course split up - and he went through depression - but now he has another girl and he seems back on track still talking about school et al. I'm surprised because this time - he;s not saying it's for her - he wants these things for himself. So fingers crossed for your son too. One day I'd like to think we can all breathe about our kids without it feeling like we have on a one too small size corsett. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 425129, member: 4964"] tl, It's a tough call. On one hand you don't want them to come home to live with you, you know they don't have any way to get 1st, last, security because they just can't seem to ever put back any money even if they did save everything they had - because that would almost mean living with you - and then there is utilities/deposits to manage, so the places they can afford are on THAT end of town, which leads to THAT kind of company - but sometimes I think we as parents may be a little too harsh to judge THAT kind of company. I just don't know. It may be that where they are isn't ideal in our minds, but for two kids starting out? It's okay. When Dude got where his BD was? I was trying to figure where he was going to stay knowing it wouldn't ever work with them lviing together, nor would it last with him staying with relatives - they aren't the accomodating sort. I was right on both counts. The area he was able to find lodging in was the absolute worst in the entire town. Then he was homeless and I was actually more relieved he was homeless than living where he was. (another rock and a hard place). Now since BD has gone to jail he's managed to take over that ramshackled place and split costs, but is moving or has moved - not sure. I hope it works out for your son & girlfriend. Just the fact that he has someone and she's not into drugs, and they want to come to dinner seems like a step in the right direction towards normal. I'm happy for him. I know it sounds like a cop out - but when Dude had a nice girl? His entire attitude changed; even for a while - he wanted to get a job, go to school, clean up his life. Even though his thoughts were all for her (wrong reasons) he WAS thinking about doing things for the first time for GOOD. And to me - it was baby steps in the right direction. They of course split up - and he went through depression - but now he has another girl and he seems back on track still talking about school et al. I'm surprised because this time - he;s not saying it's for her - he wants these things for himself. So fingers crossed for your son too. One day I'd like to think we can all breathe about our kids without it feeling like we have on a one too small size corsett. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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