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General Parenting
LLOOONNNNGGG Night, NEED ADVICE
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 79467" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>That is EXACTLY what we were trying to accomplish. We wanted this to be more of a LEARNING experience for her, rather than just punishment because she did something wrong. This is the reason that, although we took some time talking about it Saturday night, I held off on what to do about it until the next day, so that she could let our discussion sink in before worrying about being upset that she was being punished. Plus, just saying "your grounded" doesn't really help her get the trust back. However, gradually easing her back into her life with added supervision, I think she will slowly begin to learn that if she wants us to trust her, she must follow the rules. </p><p></p><p>We try to always make sure she is involved with decisions that are made regarding her, whether they be good or bad, she is old enough that she should have a say in her life, and although she may not always get exactly what she wants, if she can make a good case for herself, her father and I are often willing to compromise and come to an agreement that will work for everyone. When we discussed this new idea with our difficult child, she agreed with it, she wasn't upset or angry, and seemed to really be on board with it. I think it helped make everyone's relationship stronger, even though the trust is not there anymore, at least for now, she knows that she is on the path to getting that back. And presenting it in this way really makes her think about that, rather than focus on being "punished".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 79467, member: 3527"] That is EXACTLY what we were trying to accomplish. We wanted this to be more of a LEARNING experience for her, rather than just punishment because she did something wrong. This is the reason that, although we took some time talking about it Saturday night, I held off on what to do about it until the next day, so that she could let our discussion sink in before worrying about being upset that she was being punished. Plus, just saying "your grounded" doesn't really help her get the trust back. However, gradually easing her back into her life with added supervision, I think she will slowly begin to learn that if she wants us to trust her, she must follow the rules. We try to always make sure she is involved with decisions that are made regarding her, whether they be good or bad, she is old enough that she should have a say in her life, and although she may not always get exactly what she wants, if she can make a good case for herself, her father and I are often willing to compromise and come to an agreement that will work for everyone. When we discussed this new idea with our difficult child, she agreed with it, she wasn't upset or angry, and seemed to really be on board with it. I think it helped make everyone's relationship stronger, even though the trust is not there anymore, at least for now, she knows that she is on the path to getting that back. And presenting it in this way really makes her think about that, rather than focus on being "punished". [/QUOTE]
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LLOOONNNNGGG Night, NEED ADVICE
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