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Look a Butterfl....OH that's shiney....Can I get an order of......Oh butterfly again
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 508994" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hello Star. I am sorry you are feeling this way, I am sending you peaceful and calming thoughts. I think you've received some good input from everyone here, as usual, we all know how you feel. Me? I am 62 years old and like you, I have had a challenging life of many trying times. I have had to do a lot of healing, emotionally, physically and mentally, and as someone who has for the most part, put everyone else's needs first, taking care of me has been a challenge, but one I have been committed to learn. I have had to put a lot of energy in to my own healing as a result of so much trauma. I identify with all that you are saying. </p><p></p><p>OK, I'll try to put all of my thoughts about your situation in some clear form here. I believe that when we are constantly in the fight or flight state, which goes along with chronic stress, we overwork our adrenals. When my son-in-law committed suicide and my daughter and the three children looked to me to keep everyone sane, I was in overdrive for a couple of years. After that I experienced a loss of energy unlike anything I had ever gone through. I later learned it was "adrenal fatigue." I essentially blew out my adrenals with stress and getting off the couch to get the mail was a huge issue. You may have that. I took a lot of supplements to get better. Here is a website of women Doctors who specialize in menopause and women's issues related to stress: <a href="http://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/" target="_blank">http://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/</a> I went on their program to calm myself down and it helped. </p><p></p><p>I regularly see an acupuncturist. I don't know if this is something you would consider, that's your call. But it helps me in many ways, most of which is calming me down on the inside, keeping those stress levels WAY down. I've gone for over 15 years on a fairly continuing basis, it really helps me. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how old you are but if you are of an age where peri-menopause could be an issue, that can reek havoc in one's system like crazy. (you can start peri-menopause in your early 40s!) And, having trouble thinking is definitely one of the symptoms. My brain took a 2 year vacation when I was about 50 and my friends went through it too in varying degrees, so you might consider that. And, if you're open to it, the women to women site is very helpful, plus you can call them and talk to someone about your symptoms and they alter the supplements to suit your needs.</p><p></p><p>I tend to be someone who will look for alternative, holistic answers rather then a quick fix with drugs, hence my journey had been slower, but over time I am feeling very healthy in all ways. </p><p></p><p>As another warrior mentioned too, grieving is essential. A medical Doctor I had many years ago said something I never forgot, he said, "<em>the body never forgets</em>." Meaning we go through so much and believe it "went away" but the feelings are stored somewhere inside, creating issues, and they need to be expressed in some manner. I am a big believer in therapy and having grown up with so much mental illness in my family, I really couldn't wait to grow up and put myself in therapy, it was quite clear to me that I was not in any kind of normal life. I've had 19 years of therapy over 40 years and I'm still in it now. Grief is a difficult challenge in our culture because people judge it and tell you to "get over it." But, I believe you can't get over it until you feel it. I once went to a support group where I didn't know a soul and I said, "Hi my name is***** and then I broke down and cried for the entire group. Big gulping sobs. Yikes. I sat in the car after the group and thought, "ok, I am in much worse shape then I thought I was." And that precipitated about a year or two of lots and lots of crying, crying over things that happened when I was a kid!!!! Man, I had a lot of grief inside. Someone told me once that the level of joy you have is equal to the tears you've shed, and I know that's true because as I let the grief out, my level of real joy increased dramatically. I mean the joy inside that bubbles up, not because I have a new car or I lost weight (although that's very cool!) but just because today I'm above ground and being grateful for just being.</p><p></p><p>I also meditate as often as I can, not regularly, but it helps. As someone else mentioned, yoga helps and we walk 3-4 miles each day which is monumentally helpful to clear the mind, calm the body and let me rest at night. I am a believer in the mind/body connection, so I work on it from all levels. Sometimes I have to laugh, I went from someone who could hardly give my own self the time of day, to someone who puts enormous time into <em>"me maintenance</em>" perhaps because of ignoring my needs for so long I have to nourish them much more now.</p><p></p><p>I think self care, for me, has been the way to heal. As I turned my life towards myself I made better choices which took care of me. You have a supportive, loving fiancee and a son who turned his life around because of your love, that says a lot about your own love of yourself. You've survived enormous challenges and come out the other side a compassionate, wise and funny woman with a lot to give to others. I wonder if when you look in the mirror, you are able to see the beauty and wisdom and wonder of who you really are. I believe that is often the price we pay as women who care so much for others, we forget that we also deserve our love and attention. In my heart and given the age I've managed to actually live to, I believe my greatest challenge has been to love myself as much as I love everyone else and to care for myself on every level. That may sound simple, but it is not, it is quite difficult. </p><p></p><p>I may be totally off base here, and forgive me my rantings if I am, you may indeed have some anomaly which I have no idea about. My response is from my heart in reaction to your words from my own experience. In any case, I hope you find peace and that your mind calms down. You've done an astonishing job of working your life out, I would say spend some time telling yourself that. God bless you and your family. <strong><em>Big giant hugs coming at you...</em></strong>..........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 508994, member: 13542"] Hello Star. I am sorry you are feeling this way, I am sending you peaceful and calming thoughts. I think you've received some good input from everyone here, as usual, we all know how you feel. Me? I am 62 years old and like you, I have had a challenging life of many trying times. I have had to do a lot of healing, emotionally, physically and mentally, and as someone who has for the most part, put everyone else's needs first, taking care of me has been a challenge, but one I have been committed to learn. I have had to put a lot of energy in to my own healing as a result of so much trauma. I identify with all that you are saying. OK, I'll try to put all of my thoughts about your situation in some clear form here. I believe that when we are constantly in the fight or flight state, which goes along with chronic stress, we overwork our adrenals. When my son-in-law committed suicide and my daughter and the three children looked to me to keep everyone sane, I was in overdrive for a couple of years. After that I experienced a loss of energy unlike anything I had ever gone through. I later learned it was "adrenal fatigue." I essentially blew out my adrenals with stress and getting off the couch to get the mail was a huge issue. You may have that. I took a lot of supplements to get better. Here is a website of women Doctors who specialize in menopause and women's issues related to stress: [url]http://www.womenshealthnetwork.com/[/url] I went on their program to calm myself down and it helped. I regularly see an acupuncturist. I don't know if this is something you would consider, that's your call. But it helps me in many ways, most of which is calming me down on the inside, keeping those stress levels WAY down. I've gone for over 15 years on a fairly continuing basis, it really helps me. I don't know how old you are but if you are of an age where peri-menopause could be an issue, that can reek havoc in one's system like crazy. (you can start peri-menopause in your early 40s!) And, having trouble thinking is definitely one of the symptoms. My brain took a 2 year vacation when I was about 50 and my friends went through it too in varying degrees, so you might consider that. And, if you're open to it, the women to women site is very helpful, plus you can call them and talk to someone about your symptoms and they alter the supplements to suit your needs. I tend to be someone who will look for alternative, holistic answers rather then a quick fix with drugs, hence my journey had been slower, but over time I am feeling very healthy in all ways. As another warrior mentioned too, grieving is essential. A medical Doctor I had many years ago said something I never forgot, he said, "[I]the body never forgets[/I]." Meaning we go through so much and believe it "went away" but the feelings are stored somewhere inside, creating issues, and they need to be expressed in some manner. I am a big believer in therapy and having grown up with so much mental illness in my family, I really couldn't wait to grow up and put myself in therapy, it was quite clear to me that I was not in any kind of normal life. I've had 19 years of therapy over 40 years and I'm still in it now. Grief is a difficult challenge in our culture because people judge it and tell you to "get over it." But, I believe you can't get over it until you feel it. I once went to a support group where I didn't know a soul and I said, "Hi my name is***** and then I broke down and cried for the entire group. Big gulping sobs. Yikes. I sat in the car after the group and thought, "ok, I am in much worse shape then I thought I was." And that precipitated about a year or two of lots and lots of crying, crying over things that happened when I was a kid!!!! Man, I had a lot of grief inside. Someone told me once that the level of joy you have is equal to the tears you've shed, and I know that's true because as I let the grief out, my level of real joy increased dramatically. I mean the joy inside that bubbles up, not because I have a new car or I lost weight (although that's very cool!) but just because today I'm above ground and being grateful for just being. I also meditate as often as I can, not regularly, but it helps. As someone else mentioned, yoga helps and we walk 3-4 miles each day which is monumentally helpful to clear the mind, calm the body and let me rest at night. I am a believer in the mind/body connection, so I work on it from all levels. Sometimes I have to laugh, I went from someone who could hardly give my own self the time of day, to someone who puts enormous time into [I]"me maintenance[/I]" perhaps because of ignoring my needs for so long I have to nourish them much more now. I think self care, for me, has been the way to heal. As I turned my life towards myself I made better choices which took care of me. You have a supportive, loving fiancee and a son who turned his life around because of your love, that says a lot about your own love of yourself. You've survived enormous challenges and come out the other side a compassionate, wise and funny woman with a lot to give to others. I wonder if when you look in the mirror, you are able to see the beauty and wisdom and wonder of who you really are. I believe that is often the price we pay as women who care so much for others, we forget that we also deserve our love and attention. In my heart and given the age I've managed to actually live to, I believe my greatest challenge has been to love myself as much as I love everyone else and to care for myself on every level. That may sound simple, but it is not, it is quite difficult. I may be totally off base here, and forgive me my rantings if I am, you may indeed have some anomaly which I have no idea about. My response is from my heart in reaction to your words from my own experience. In any case, I hope you find peace and that your mind calms down. You've done an astonishing job of working your life out, I would say spend some time telling yourself that. God bless you and your family. [B][I]Big giant hugs coming at you...[/I][/B].......... [/QUOTE]
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