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Substance Abuse
Looking for advice concerning my 13-year-old
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 672515" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Im late to this party. I had a daughter who started drugs at twelve and was on parole twice. She has no record since she was a minor.</p><p>I think her age is an advantage. Youcan still intervene because of her age so you get more time. Use lt. Dont.t be afraid of her. My daughter is adoptd from abroad. I read somewhere that if they take out the knife and say "my real mother wouldnt treat me this way" that a good respnse is "your bithmother would agree with me about your behavior." That left my daughter speechless and she didny use it again, although, to be fair, she never says she is sorry we adopted her either. I have oftentold her id help her find her birthmother but she isnt ready yet. I feeliys important for afoptive parents to calmly acknowledge the birthmother and to say its normal for them to want to meet thrm. Takes the wind out of the "youre not my real mother" toss. None of my three adted kids said that to me. Maybe that openness is why. </p><p>Having said that, being adopted is a behavior rIsk, which I feel is often biologically based. Many act more like theirbirthparents than like us.</p><p>Bottom line is intervene now. My daughter auit everything, even cugarettes, by nineteen. I think helping her very early helped. She is about eleven years clean.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 672515, member: 1550"] Im late to this party. I had a daughter who started drugs at twelve and was on parole twice. She has no record since she was a minor. I think her age is an advantage. Youcan still intervene because of her age so you get more time. Use lt. Dont.t be afraid of her. My daughter is adoptd from abroad. I read somewhere that if they take out the knife and say "my real mother wouldnt treat me this way" that a good respnse is "your bithmother would agree with me about your behavior." That left my daughter speechless and she didny use it again, although, to be fair, she never says she is sorry we adopted her either. I have oftentold her id help her find her birthmother but she isnt ready yet. I feeliys important for afoptive parents to calmly acknowledge the birthmother and to say its normal for them to want to meet thrm. Takes the wind out of the "youre not my real mother" toss. None of my three adted kids said that to me. Maybe that openness is why. Having said that, being adopted is a behavior rIsk, which I feel is often biologically based. Many act more like theirbirthparents than like us. Bottom line is intervene now. My daughter auit everything, even cugarettes, by nineteen. I think helping her very early helped. She is about eleven years clean. [/QUOTE]
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Looking for advice concerning my 13-year-old
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