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Substance Abuse
Looking for advice concerning my 13-year-old
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<blockquote data-quote="SadFlower" data-source="post: 672590" data-attributes="member: 19741"><p>Right when I thought things were getting better, she took off again. I called the police this time. Steeled myself and did it. They brought her home about two hours later. I was totally hysterical until they did. I'm ashamed to say that I was afraid she will be angry... and she was... but I eventually became angrier. When they found her, she was high and they tested her at the police station... she was high on meth. Done with my "it's just pot" illusions.</p><p></p><p>I was also looking through her phone... I wish I'd done it sooner. She's dating a 19-year-old college dropout who is also a drug user and they were texting about running away to Colorado. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't intervened NOW. </p><p></p><p>I don't know whether to send her to school. Today she said she's sorry and cried... I think it's starting to dawn on her that this is not a good situation. But she also says that they're her "only friends" and that no one at school likes her... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> she says they make fun of her because she's Asian. She told someone that she was born in Kazakhstan and now some kids say she's "Pakistani" and call her at terrorist.</p><p>We don't have the money to send her to a private school, but I think I will take a loan. We live in a small, 95% white city, and the private school here is very small and offers less academic opportunities than the public school, but there are a few Asian (Korean and Chinese) students there, and maybe she'd feel more welcomed.</p><p></p><p>I've talked to her a lot about being adopted and made it clear that neither me nor her father would have any problem with her finding her birthmother when she's ready. We've been to Kazakhstan last year and visited the orphanage when she's spent most of her first year of life. She liked the fact that people mistook her for a local and addressed her in Russian or Kazakh. She wanted to go again this year but we can't afford it.</p><p></p><p>KSM, I'm so happy to read that the police involvement made a difference for your daughter. I hope I'll see the same outcome with mine!</p><p></p><p>New Leaf: like many gifted kids, she goes through periods where she falls in love with certain topics, researches them non-stop and talks about them incessantly. We've been through dark matter, genetics, Islam and we were just in the middle of a North Korea obsession (she was teaching herself Korean so she could read articles about them written by South Koreans). Her dropping it was the first sign that something was wrong. </p><p>She is not very affectionate. She's never being touched. That kind of offended me when she was young but I learned to accept it as part of her character.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SadFlower, post: 672590, member: 19741"] Right when I thought things were getting better, she took off again. I called the police this time. Steeled myself and did it. They brought her home about two hours later. I was totally hysterical until they did. I'm ashamed to say that I was afraid she will be angry... and she was... but I eventually became angrier. When they found her, she was high and they tested her at the police station... she was high on meth. Done with my "it's just pot" illusions. I was also looking through her phone... I wish I'd done it sooner. She's dating a 19-year-old college dropout who is also a drug user and they were texting about running away to Colorado. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't intervened NOW. I don't know whether to send her to school. Today she said she's sorry and cried... I think it's starting to dawn on her that this is not a good situation. But she also says that they're her "only friends" and that no one at school likes her... :( she says they make fun of her because she's Asian. She told someone that she was born in Kazakhstan and now some kids say she's "Pakistani" and call her at terrorist. We don't have the money to send her to a private school, but I think I will take a loan. We live in a small, 95% white city, and the private school here is very small and offers less academic opportunities than the public school, but there are a few Asian (Korean and Chinese) students there, and maybe she'd feel more welcomed. I've talked to her a lot about being adopted and made it clear that neither me nor her father would have any problem with her finding her birthmother when she's ready. We've been to Kazakhstan last year and visited the orphanage when she's spent most of her first year of life. She liked the fact that people mistook her for a local and addressed her in Russian or Kazakh. She wanted to go again this year but we can't afford it. KSM, I'm so happy to read that the police involvement made a difference for your daughter. I hope I'll see the same outcome with mine! New Leaf: like many gifted kids, she goes through periods where she falls in love with certain topics, researches them non-stop and talks about them incessantly. We've been through dark matter, genetics, Islam and we were just in the middle of a North Korea obsession (she was teaching herself Korean so she could read articles about them written by South Koreans). Her dropping it was the first sign that something was wrong. She is not very affectionate. She's never being touched. That kind of offended me when she was young but I learned to accept it as part of her character. [/QUOTE]
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