I am at the end of my rope, or at least I feel it. I am trying to keep my pulse at a normal rate, Tink is throwing the royal-est of all royal tantrums in her room, and I am going against everything I know and screaming at her. I tried to do a behavior chart with her. Per doctor's suggestion, I choose 2 behaviors that I really would like to see changed, and put them on the chart. I choose cleaning her room and talking smart. I go over the chart with her the other day, and she starts having a kaniption. "This chart is stupid, you just MADE these rules, UP, I am going to make YOU a chart mom...". How the hell do you respond to that? I tell her no, it is my house, my rules, and she wants to argue every point with me. No mom, it is her house too, because she lives there. Ya know, I don't have time for this. I drop the subject so that I am not sucked into a stupid argument (hello, with a SIX year old), which works against me, because now I have not talked about the chart with her. And if I don't talk about it with her, we can't start it. Then there is my next door neighbor, who catches Tink every single time she does something wrong, and tells on her to me, and in front of her tells me what I should do to punish her, and then scolds her by saying things like "you disappoint me" (OK, I can go with that) or "you are not my friend anymore" (WTF, are you kidding me?). The other day she caught Tink going through the stuff in the hatch of my van, and spraying carpet spot cleaner into the air with one of the neighbor kids. OK, she's grounded for the night, neighbor kid is not, what else is new. The days here are tough because the only girls around here are a set of twins age 7, who are left home in the care of their 10 year old brother while mom works all day. One of these twins was in on the spraying with Tink. The twins play pretty good with Tink until someone else comes along, then they all gang up on Tink every time. Well this morning I had HAD it. I snapped. They did it again, and I went off. First I sent the other kid home, not that it was my business, but 3 seven year olds playing unsupervised? The brother was in the house playing video games. One of the twins ran into the house too (the one who did the spraying) but I caught the other one (who is normally the instigator). I held her still and yelled at her till she cried. At the time I felt justified, I mean I've had the kid here for meals and overnight a million times. And every time someone else better comes along, these kids start breaking Tink's toys, calling her names, telling her she is a loser, just rotten stuff. Of course afterwards i felt like a big jerk. This evening the neighbor comes over to tell me that Tink is sitting on the hood of my car. I don't know who I am more ticked at, Tink for sitting on the car, or the pain in the backend neighbor for tattling AGAIN. So Tink is in for the night. And has been crying and whining for 2 hours. The first half hour was "but mom, where else do I sit? I was only sitting on the car. No fair." Like I need to explain why I don't want her on the car. After 25 minutes, I realize that I am indeed sucked into another one of her ridiculous arguments. All along I have been attempting to get her in her room to settle down. No mom, it's too hot. No mom, you didn't answer me. No mom, it's stuffy in my room, I can't breathe". I finally lose it and crack her in the behind. Just to get her to stop talking and get in her room. Which she promptly trashes. I am ready to put my head through a wall. Well THEN I find out why her room is so stuffy, she turned the blessed HEAT ON! She comes out, rolling on the floor, "I'm so hot, mommy when am I un-grounded, what can I do, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty..." Well, you can clean up your room. And as much as I have no desire to be in a room with her, I know that she needs things broken into chunks, and I am prepared to assist her. Nope, she screams at me that if I tell her that ONE MORE TIME she is going to have a stroke. Good Lord. I try to be understanding, this is a sucky situation for her. I am so sick that I spend most days laying in bed. I don't have the energy to play with her much. the kids around here are not so nice. She is stuck in the house and bored a lot of days (there are exceptions, I do have some wonderful neighbors) but I just can't handle this. and she is SIX. I am so in for it in a few years if I don't get this under control. Anyone who read this, you are brave. thank you.