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Losing adult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 668752" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>First, let me say, I am so, SO sorry that you have to be here. There is just nothing harder than having a child in trouble that you can't help. And the one thing I learned from being here is that you CAN'T help. He has to help himself. Right now my son, who is only 20, is with an aunt having been basically homeless on and off for a year. But she's charging rent and has very strict rules, so it's not like living at home. Perhaps that will be the key...we shall see. </p><p> </p><p>As for your son,</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Kalahou, I'm so very sorry to say this, but these things just <em>scream</em> drugs to me. I'm not saying it couldn't be depression or mental illness. I'm certainly no expert and God knows I had no clue about my own son, but it sounds so much like his behavior. Mine even kept his curfew and didn't get in trouble with the police (until after we put him out). We didn't have any idea there was any drug use until we came home one day to find him stoned off his butt. I'd have never believed, even if I'd been told, that he was getting high. His thing was pot. I'd imagine drugs with no tell-tale odor would be even easier to hide. Has he stolen from you? Have things gone missing; money, jewelry, etc? If so...I'd be just sure.</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>My goodness this is exactly like my son! I could have written this! The only difference between them is age and prior marriage...and he was not a follower exactly, but he had no ambition. He never did more than the bare minimum to get by. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I agree. Nothing we did helped our son. No amount of support, help, advice, caring or love. No shelter or food or monetary assistance. NOTHING we did helped him. He has to be forced to help himself. </p><p> </p><p>Welcome to our little corner of the internet. We all understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 668752, member: 17309"] First, let me say, I am so, SO sorry that you have to be here. There is just nothing harder than having a child in trouble that you can't help. And the one thing I learned from being here is that you CAN'T help. He has to help himself. Right now my son, who is only 20, is with an aunt having been basically homeless on and off for a year. But she's charging rent and has very strict rules, so it's not like living at home. Perhaps that will be the key...we shall see. As for your son, Kalahou, I'm so very sorry to say this, but these things just [I]scream[/I] drugs to me. I'm not saying it couldn't be depression or mental illness. I'm certainly no expert and God knows I had no clue about my own son, but it sounds so much like his behavior. Mine even kept his curfew and didn't get in trouble with the police (until after we put him out). We didn't have any idea there was any drug use until we came home one day to find him stoned off his butt. I'd have never believed, even if I'd been told, that he was getting high. His thing was pot. I'd imagine drugs with no tell-tale odor would be even easier to hide. Has he stolen from you? Have things gone missing; money, jewelry, etc? If so...I'd be just sure. My goodness this is exactly like my son! I could have written this! The only difference between them is age and prior marriage...and he was not a follower exactly, but he had no ambition. He never did more than the bare minimum to get by. I agree. Nothing we did helped our son. No amount of support, help, advice, caring or love. No shelter or food or monetary assistance. NOTHING we did helped him. He has to be forced to help himself. Welcome to our little corner of the internet. We all understand. [/QUOTE]
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