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Lost & Confused: 18 YO Struggling With Depression
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<blockquote data-quote="mamato3" data-source="post: 714224" data-attributes="member: 22015"><p>Thank you so much! Knowing there is support is so helpful.</p><p></p><p></p><p>What's funny (not really) is that his psychiatrist does the DNA testing, which I just learned. Even with us both telling him more than once the medications weren't working, he never brought it up. I have found another practitioner in the area that does it and I plan to call her first thing Monday morning. I also want to have his cortisol and other hormones tested and plan on asking the doctor I contact about the DNA testing.</p><p></p><p>Yes, there is a history of mental illness. Dad-anxiety, Me (mom)-possibly depression, diagnosed by PCP and taking Cymbalta which has been helpful for several years. Paternal grandmother-not sure of the official diagnosis as that side of the family doesn't talk much about mental illness. Maternal grandmother-possible depression, off and on AD, irritable, tends to isolate.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Somewhereoutthere, I totally agree with you!! I will say that the psychiatrist truly did not do his job. My son was open and honest with him, I was in there and I even voiced many concerns. His response was, "let's try a little longer." I told him, my son is not eating, my son is not happy, my son's moods change quickly, my son is not sleeping. We visited him three times. I have called his office numerous times and a small percentage of the time have gotten a callback. And YES, I agree that it is up to my son to fix himself and do the hard work. I have told his psychologist, that I also see for therapy, that if he didn't think my son was being open and honest that I was fine with him cutting the appointment short, or doing whatever he had to do (this was before he turned 18). The last time my son went to therapy, he said he told him that he was very depressed and he told him to come back in a month. Now, I realize my son may not be telling me the whole truth as this is quite common.</p><p></p><p>I learned of a new therapy option in the area and I called to make an appointment. They told me to allow two to three hours. I nearly cried with joy as he has never seen a professional for more than thirty minutes (except therapy).</p><p></p><p>The car, somewhereoutthere, I totally agree. Unfortunately, we live in more rural area that does not have public transportation and bike riding is also not really an option (dirt roads, crazy drivers, non-bike friendly laws). After the DUI, we did drive him to/from school or make him find a ride, then he got a job and paid for an interlock device. He was (and still is) only allowed to drive to/from school, work, and therapy. The first car wreck, I did take him immediately to his pediatrician and have him drug tested. There was nothing. I have suspected drugs for quite some time. The second wreck, it was raining and he slid into a ditch, the oil pan was ruined and he drove home (the engine got ruined due to no oil). I did not drug test, but I do imagine that he was driving too fast. Currently, he is driving an older car that we purchased, but we do have a "contract". He is allowed to drive to/from work and college if/when he goes this fall. He does work (for now) and the only way he can drive is if he pays us a large majority of each paycheck and he has done that twice so far. I'm not holding my breath this will continue. The car is an "extra" at our house and not his, and he knows that or has signed a contract that states this.</p><p></p><p>I have often wondered about a personality disorder. Would this be something I bring up to the therapist, or do you think that with such a long appointment they will assess this? The lady that scheduled the appointment did say they would spend time with both him and I together and just him. He is very open to having me as a part of his appointments and usually recommends my presence. I don't hold back, either. I'm not rude or pushy, but if he isn't completely honest or doesn't fully share information, I will re-ask the question or share the truth. (I do truly think I do interfere too much, but it's so hard to step back.)</p><p></p><p>I have often wondered about substance abuse, too. He did admit to drinking too much alcohol following his DUI. It has been nearly a year and we have continued to monitor in the best way we know how. He has also been randomly drug tested by myself (ebay has cheap-ish tests), his parole officer (thanks to the DUI), along with a state program he will/may use to help with college. Honestly, I sometimes wish we would find drugs in his system as this may be (I'm only assuming) an easier (not that it's easy by any means) fix.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing. How is your son now? Has he been able to find productive options for himself?</p><p></p><p>I also appreciate you sharing information about diet and mental health. This makes total sense and I will definitely be looking into this more. My daughter and husband (his father) are both allergic to gluten and I have asked my son to try giving it up for a while. My daughter totally avoids it, my husband, not so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mamato3, post: 714224, member: 22015"] Thank you so much! Knowing there is support is so helpful. What's funny (not really) is that his psychiatrist does the DNA testing, which I just learned. Even with us both telling him more than once the medications weren't working, he never brought it up. I have found another practitioner in the area that does it and I plan to call her first thing Monday morning. I also want to have his cortisol and other hormones tested and plan on asking the doctor I contact about the DNA testing. Yes, there is a history of mental illness. Dad-anxiety, Me (mom)-possibly depression, diagnosed by PCP and taking Cymbalta which has been helpful for several years. Paternal grandmother-not sure of the official diagnosis as that side of the family doesn't talk much about mental illness. Maternal grandmother-possible depression, off and on AD, irritable, tends to isolate. Somewhereoutthere, I totally agree with you!! I will say that the psychiatrist truly did not do his job. My son was open and honest with him, I was in there and I even voiced many concerns. His response was, "let's try a little longer." I told him, my son is not eating, my son is not happy, my son's moods change quickly, my son is not sleeping. We visited him three times. I have called his office numerous times and a small percentage of the time have gotten a callback. And YES, I agree that it is up to my son to fix himself and do the hard work. I have told his psychologist, that I also see for therapy, that if he didn't think my son was being open and honest that I was fine with him cutting the appointment short, or doing whatever he had to do (this was before he turned 18). The last time my son went to therapy, he said he told him that he was very depressed and he told him to come back in a month. Now, I realize my son may not be telling me the whole truth as this is quite common. I learned of a new therapy option in the area and I called to make an appointment. They told me to allow two to three hours. I nearly cried with joy as he has never seen a professional for more than thirty minutes (except therapy). The car, somewhereoutthere, I totally agree. Unfortunately, we live in more rural area that does not have public transportation and bike riding is also not really an option (dirt roads, crazy drivers, non-bike friendly laws). After the DUI, we did drive him to/from school or make him find a ride, then he got a job and paid for an interlock device. He was (and still is) only allowed to drive to/from school, work, and therapy. The first car wreck, I did take him immediately to his pediatrician and have him drug tested. There was nothing. I have suspected drugs for quite some time. The second wreck, it was raining and he slid into a ditch, the oil pan was ruined and he drove home (the engine got ruined due to no oil). I did not drug test, but I do imagine that he was driving too fast. Currently, he is driving an older car that we purchased, but we do have a "contract". He is allowed to drive to/from work and college if/when he goes this fall. He does work (for now) and the only way he can drive is if he pays us a large majority of each paycheck and he has done that twice so far. I'm not holding my breath this will continue. The car is an "extra" at our house and not his, and he knows that or has signed a contract that states this. I have often wondered about a personality disorder. Would this be something I bring up to the therapist, or do you think that with such a long appointment they will assess this? The lady that scheduled the appointment did say they would spend time with both him and I together and just him. He is very open to having me as a part of his appointments and usually recommends my presence. I don't hold back, either. I'm not rude or pushy, but if he isn't completely honest or doesn't fully share information, I will re-ask the question or share the truth. (I do truly think I do interfere too much, but it's so hard to step back.) I have often wondered about substance abuse, too. He did admit to drinking too much alcohol following his DUI. It has been nearly a year and we have continued to monitor in the best way we know how. He has also been randomly drug tested by myself (ebay has cheap-ish tests), his parole officer (thanks to the DUI), along with a state program he will/may use to help with college. Honestly, I sometimes wish we would find drugs in his system as this may be (I'm only assuming) an easier (not that it's easy by any means) fix. Thank you for sharing. How is your son now? Has he been able to find productive options for himself? I also appreciate you sharing information about diet and mental health. This makes total sense and I will definitely be looking into this more. My daughter and husband (his father) are both allergic to gluten and I have asked my son to try giving it up for a while. My daughter totally avoids it, my husband, not so much. [/QUOTE]
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Lost & Confused: 18 YO Struggling With Depression
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