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Lost my daughter for good I fear
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 530820" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Oh Dotty - I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and that your daughter is making some very poor choices. Unfortunately you can not change her. You can only change yourself. I am learning this too and it is so very hard. We alternate between sad and angry and often question our own decisions and what we have done. But we can say that we know we did everything possible to give them a good life and worked hard to be the best parents we could be. That is all we can do. </p><p></p><p>I agree, you need to get a lawyer and beat this thing in court. You also need to print off that FB page where your daughter said she hit you and that she wouldn't rest until she saw you in jail. </p><p></p><p>I think you should change the locks on the doors. Get one of those coded deadbolts - that way if things ever do improve with her you can enter a code in the door just for her - and if they go bad again you can take the code back out. That is what we have done with our difficult child. I've already taken the code out again - but at least there won't be changing locks on an ongoing basis - because you don't know how many keys are out there. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I'm sorry you are feeling hatred towards your daughter. Don't feel guilty about that - I think it is a natural emotion based on the circumstances. Someone told me something that helped me - she said think of difficult child like he has a brain tumour and he can't help his behaviour - he doesn't have the insight to choose to do better. That's not to say I don't get angry and you won't too but I do find it helpful for me so I thought I'd share. She is lost and possibly being very manipulated by this man. I feel that this is part of the problem with my difficult child as well. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you. You will get through this - try to spend some time every day focusing on the positive things in your life. You are a positive member of your community, you have your husband and your other children. Live you life - even if it's just one step in front of the other right now. Or one breath at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 530820, member: 14356"] Oh Dotty - I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and that your daughter is making some very poor choices. Unfortunately you can not change her. You can only change yourself. I am learning this too and it is so very hard. We alternate between sad and angry and often question our own decisions and what we have done. But we can say that we know we did everything possible to give them a good life and worked hard to be the best parents we could be. That is all we can do. I agree, you need to get a lawyer and beat this thing in court. You also need to print off that FB page where your daughter said she hit you and that she wouldn't rest until she saw you in jail. I think you should change the locks on the doors. Get one of those coded deadbolts - that way if things ever do improve with her you can enter a code in the door just for her - and if they go bad again you can take the code back out. That is what we have done with our difficult child. I've already taken the code out again - but at least there won't be changing locks on an ongoing basis - because you don't know how many keys are out there. I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I'm sorry you are feeling hatred towards your daughter. Don't feel guilty about that - I think it is a natural emotion based on the circumstances. Someone told me something that helped me - she said think of difficult child like he has a brain tumour and he can't help his behaviour - he doesn't have the insight to choose to do better. That's not to say I don't get angry and you won't too but I do find it helpful for me so I thought I'd share. She is lost and possibly being very manipulated by this man. I feel that this is part of the problem with my difficult child as well. Big hugs to you. You will get through this - try to spend some time every day focusing on the positive things in your life. You are a positive member of your community, you have your husband and your other children. Live you life - even if it's just one step in front of the other right now. Or one breath at a time. [/QUOTE]
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