Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Lost my daughter for good I fear
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="dotty" data-source="post: 531090" data-attributes="member: 14148"><p>Thanks for your posts. And you're right I am in need of therapy and drugs! The last two years with my daughter since she started this relationship with this guy have been hell. I went to see a psychiatrists; a few of them in fact. Told I have anxiety issues and have tried medications but nothing has helped with the anxiety and stress in my life. I admit I made mistakes with my daughter. I realize that I probably was verbally abusive to her, not meaning to be, and certainly didn't want to the end result to be what it is today. I've apologized, I've wanted us to talk and communicate and try to find our way back, I even swallowed my pride and went to Bozo and asked him to bury the hatchet. Alll my efforts have been ignored. Nothing. Then I get the no contact order from Bozo yesterday and have to appear in court and my lovely daughter posts all over her facebook, "the ***** got served, let the games begin" and last week stated, "I just punched my mom in the face and it felt sooooo f....ng good." She continues to write how much she hates me down to the core and she won't be happy til she puts me in a mental institution, jail, or the grave. This is the daughter I've been trying to have a relationship with. This is the daughter I've been crying myself over for months...years since she has been with this boy. I don't know her. She is not the daughter I raised. She does hate me and perhaps she has her reasons, but I don't deserve the treatment she gives me, and I certainly don't deserve to be served with papers asking that I have no contact with Bozo, and although her name was not on the order, she will be there with him in court, I'm sure, and is behind him all the way. Her facebook posts humiliating me and venting her hatred and anger for me is plastered online for all the world to see. My younger daughter showed me and couldn't believe she would do that to me, to our family. Someone sent a drug magazine to Bozo's work. He and my daughter believe it was me trying to sabotage his job. Well, he doesn't need anyone to sabatoge any job. No doubt in my mind he will lose it because he's a loser and can't do well on any job. He was fired from a job delivering pizza and he was fired from cashiering at a gas station....need I say more. If he were doing good on this job, a silly magazine wouldn't make any difference at all. A magazine I had no part in sending. If I wanted to start any trouble, I could have simply made a phone call to my friends, the owners, and tell them the truth about him. I did no such thing. He's been at this job since October of last year, and if I had wanted to hurt him in his job, a simple call was all that would have been needed. And I thought about it many times, but never made that call because I was trying to get back in my daughter's life and I knew that I would be blamed for anything like that and I didn't want to ruin any chance we might have. So now he is worried for his job and believes it's my fault if he loses it. I finally realize that I am going to be the reason for all the bad in both him and my daughter's life until the day I die. In any event, I am still numb from being served that notice yesterday and even more appauled that my daughter said and did the things that she did to me about me. I don't deserve this. I never did anything so terrible that I should be condemned like I have been. I finally see the great pleasure she gets in making me cry, making me sad. It's what she lives for and that's a reality I will have to accept. She truly hates me and now after what she has done with her boyfriend, I can honestly say that I don't know that I want to have her in my life either. My feelings may change tomorrow and I will always miss her and wish things had been different. But I really truly don't feel there is any hope for us ever. She hates me. I saw it in her eyes before she punched me in the face last week. I heard it in her words as I read them online, and in talking with other family members who have spoken to her, she wants no part of me ever. In a couple of weeks, I will be in court sitting across the table from my daughter and her loser boyfriend. This is what has become of us. So sad. I don't think the reality of the situation has even sunk in yet.</p><p></p><p>But I know this, she is not the daughter I thought and hoped she would be. Yes, I have made mistakes. I wasn't the perfect Mother, but she was far from the perfect daughter either. Yet in all her troubles, I was there for her. She knows how much I did for her. She knows how much I love her, yet she could still do what she did and not care about my feelings in any way. We are over and I have to come to terms with that. It's like a death of a child; I'm in mourning and I'm sad and depressed.</p><p></p><p>I need to talk with someone and I thank each and everyone of you for being here. I suppose I haven't found the right physician to help me because in the last two years of my searching, I haven't received any help at all. Even with insurance, the out of pocket expenses are high and money is an issue for me right now. I wish there was a magic pill to make me forget, to make me feel better about the way things are in my life, but I know there isn't. I could spend years in therapy, take tons of medications, and perhaps years from now I could have some type of normalcy in my life, but it will have been too late for me and Britt I'm almost 52 and I just feel like I'm too old to change or make any difference in mine or my children's lives. They are virtually all adults. My baby is almost 18. I'm trying to have a better relationship with my youngest daughter, and I'm hopeful to have something with her. The stress in our family caused by my daughter and the void she has left in all our lives is hurtful to everyone. At the dinner table, there is one empty chair, in her bedroom there is always an emptiness because all her belongings are gone. It's not so much about her not living at home. She's an adult, I get that. But even though she lives not far away, she is isolated by Bozo, and she is happy that way. My daughter really wants no contact with me. She hates me down to my core and I am trying very very hard to accept that fact and let her go. Does it get any easier? How do you just forget one of your children. Am I really that bad? Haven't I been punished enough?There is no hope for us anymore. All I can do is pray for her happiness and well being, and I will every single day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dotty, post: 531090, member: 14148"] Thanks for your posts. And you're right I am in need of therapy and drugs! The last two years with my daughter since she started this relationship with this guy have been hell. I went to see a psychiatrists; a few of them in fact. Told I have anxiety issues and have tried medications but nothing has helped with the anxiety and stress in my life. I admit I made mistakes with my daughter. I realize that I probably was verbally abusive to her, not meaning to be, and certainly didn't want to the end result to be what it is today. I've apologized, I've wanted us to talk and communicate and try to find our way back, I even swallowed my pride and went to Bozo and asked him to bury the hatchet. Alll my efforts have been ignored. Nothing. Then I get the no contact order from Bozo yesterday and have to appear in court and my lovely daughter posts all over her facebook, "the ***** got served, let the games begin" and last week stated, "I just punched my mom in the face and it felt sooooo f....ng good." She continues to write how much she hates me down to the core and she won't be happy til she puts me in a mental institution, jail, or the grave. This is the daughter I've been trying to have a relationship with. This is the daughter I've been crying myself over for months...years since she has been with this boy. I don't know her. She is not the daughter I raised. She does hate me and perhaps she has her reasons, but I don't deserve the treatment she gives me, and I certainly don't deserve to be served with papers asking that I have no contact with Bozo, and although her name was not on the order, she will be there with him in court, I'm sure, and is behind him all the way. Her facebook posts humiliating me and venting her hatred and anger for me is plastered online for all the world to see. My younger daughter showed me and couldn't believe she would do that to me, to our family. Someone sent a drug magazine to Bozo's work. He and my daughter believe it was me trying to sabotage his job. Well, he doesn't need anyone to sabatoge any job. No doubt in my mind he will lose it because he's a loser and can't do well on any job. He was fired from a job delivering pizza and he was fired from cashiering at a gas station....need I say more. If he were doing good on this job, a silly magazine wouldn't make any difference at all. A magazine I had no part in sending. If I wanted to start any trouble, I could have simply made a phone call to my friends, the owners, and tell them the truth about him. I did no such thing. He's been at this job since October of last year, and if I had wanted to hurt him in his job, a simple call was all that would have been needed. And I thought about it many times, but never made that call because I was trying to get back in my daughter's life and I knew that I would be blamed for anything like that and I didn't want to ruin any chance we might have. So now he is worried for his job and believes it's my fault if he loses it. I finally realize that I am going to be the reason for all the bad in both him and my daughter's life until the day I die. In any event, I am still numb from being served that notice yesterday and even more appauled that my daughter said and did the things that she did to me about me. I don't deserve this. I never did anything so terrible that I should be condemned like I have been. I finally see the great pleasure she gets in making me cry, making me sad. It's what she lives for and that's a reality I will have to accept. She truly hates me and now after what she has done with her boyfriend, I can honestly say that I don't know that I want to have her in my life either. My feelings may change tomorrow and I will always miss her and wish things had been different. But I really truly don't feel there is any hope for us ever. She hates me. I saw it in her eyes before she punched me in the face last week. I heard it in her words as I read them online, and in talking with other family members who have spoken to her, she wants no part of me ever. In a couple of weeks, I will be in court sitting across the table from my daughter and her loser boyfriend. This is what has become of us. So sad. I don't think the reality of the situation has even sunk in yet. But I know this, she is not the daughter I thought and hoped she would be. Yes, I have made mistakes. I wasn't the perfect Mother, but she was far from the perfect daughter either. Yet in all her troubles, I was there for her. She knows how much I did for her. She knows how much I love her, yet she could still do what she did and not care about my feelings in any way. We are over and I have to come to terms with that. It's like a death of a child; I'm in mourning and I'm sad and depressed. I need to talk with someone and I thank each and everyone of you for being here. I suppose I haven't found the right physician to help me because in the last two years of my searching, I haven't received any help at all. Even with insurance, the out of pocket expenses are high and money is an issue for me right now. I wish there was a magic pill to make me forget, to make me feel better about the way things are in my life, but I know there isn't. I could spend years in therapy, take tons of medications, and perhaps years from now I could have some type of normalcy in my life, but it will have been too late for me and Britt I'm almost 52 and I just feel like I'm too old to change or make any difference in mine or my children's lives. They are virtually all adults. My baby is almost 18. I'm trying to have a better relationship with my youngest daughter, and I'm hopeful to have something with her. The stress in our family caused by my daughter and the void she has left in all our lives is hurtful to everyone. At the dinner table, there is one empty chair, in her bedroom there is always an emptiness because all her belongings are gone. It's not so much about her not living at home. She's an adult, I get that. But even though she lives not far away, she is isolated by Bozo, and she is happy that way. My daughter really wants no contact with me. She hates me down to my core and I am trying very very hard to accept that fact and let her go. Does it get any easier? How do you just forget one of your children. Am I really that bad? Haven't I been punished enough?There is no hope for us anymore. All I can do is pray for her happiness and well being, and I will every single day. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Lost my daughter for good I fear
Top